Two years.

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Two years ago I decided to do something.

Something that I had done once or twice before.

Something that was both exciting and terrifying at the same time.

Sharing my feelings with the world one blog post at a time.

Without knowing it, my best friend inspired me to start this blog.

She inspires me to do a lot in life.

Thanks best friend.

I think of the girl who started this blog two years ago.

The new mother.

The wife.

The twenty six year girl, who despite what she thought, was really just starting to figure things out.

Crazy how that works huh?

You always think that you know everything at your current state in life.

When in reality, you’re always learning.

You’re always gaining these new experiences in life and meeting these new people.

You’re constantly growing.

You’re still making mistakes.

I thought I knew it all.

20 years old and I swore I knew what love was.

22 years and I thought a college degree meant that I knew everything.

24 years old and planning a wedding.

26 years old and becoming a new mother.

28 years old and finding out I have skin cancer.

Life absolutely blows my mind.

It’s beautiful really.

Just when you think you have it all figured out.

Just when you get comfortable.

Life comes up and gives you this curve ball.

It decides that you need to grow more.

That you’re doing just fine, but you could do better.

You could choose to dwell on it, or you could choose to do more.

You could choose to see it as an opportunity to grow.

You could choose to take it as a time to learn.

Even at 26 years old with a new baby boy I still thought that I knew it all.

Scrolling through my blog posts I can see so many examples of ways that I’ve grown.

I can see so many memories that make me smile from ear to ear.

So many new faces that were brought into my life that make it worth living.

I am so deeply in love with my life.

I’m so thankful for those heartbreaks I had growing up.

Those relationships that broke my heart in a million parts, helped me fall so madly in love with myself.

The millions of memories I have with my sister that could fill up an entire night sky.

The most loving and supportive parents a girl could ask for.

Those moments where I was so sad I couldn’t see the light at the end of the tunnel, make me remember why I pushed through the dark.

The five years of coaching the most hard working athletes. Seeing them at their lowest lows and their highest highs, makes me not able to even imagine them not in my life.

The moment I realized I loved Jason, the one moment that I was the most sure of anything in this entire world.

The moment I met my son and could feel my whole world coming together at once.

Life is so stunning.

It really truly is.

There are moments that will try to make you think differently.

They will try and change your mind.

With thoughts of self pity and sadness.

They will try and break you.

Don’t let them.

Remember why you’re still here.

Remember who you love and who loves you back.

Even if it’s just one person, it’s still love, and it’s still beautiful.

It still makes life worth living.

The love from one soul can change your life.

When I was younger I was so obsessed with the thought of love.

I thought the love from a boy would validate me as a person and would make me whole.

Little did I know that I had all of the love I ever needed right under my roof.

I saw this quote once that really stuck with me.

“Were all just walking each other home.”

In the end we all want the same thing.

We all want someone.

We all want love.

To make sure we feel comfort and protection.

To give us a hand to hold in the darkest of times.

To love with everything we have.

These two years of my blog are just a small portion of my life, a life that I am so in love with.

So thank you.

Thank you for reading my blog posts.

Thank you for allowing me to share my feelings with you.

Thank you for keeping up with my rambles fueled by LANY songs and coffee.

It fills up my heart knowing that you take a few minutes of your day to keep up with my thoughts.

Lets keep it going shall we?

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DFSP

I’ve always been such a good kid.

Seriously

Don’t believe me ask my parents.

I mean, they probably don’t understand just how good I was growing up.

I never snuck out.

Never went to any parties.

Got as good of grades as I could.

Even in college and growing up since then.

I’ve never smoked or done anything illegal.

I hardly drink alcohol.

I call my parents at least once a day.

The one thing I do is have the mouth of sailor but whatever….

You could say I was “one of those good kids” or “sheltered” but honestly it was my choice.

Try telling that to my college boyfriend.

But it was.

I honestly wanted to be that good kid.

I wanted to make my parents proud.

I wanted to follow the rules.

That’s what made me happy.

That’s what makes this so hard.

I always thought bad things happened to bad people, and the other way around.

I’ve lost people in my life that have made me question that theory but for the most part it’s been true.

That’s why this is so confusing to me.

That’s why none of this makes sense.

This last month I went to my doctors to get these bumps checked out.

I’ve had one on my lower abdomen for a few years now, but I noticed two years ago that I was slowly getting more.

I finally told Jason I would get them looked at.

I’ve had them for so long I just got use to them.

Figuring nothing bad would happen to me.

I never even told my parents about them because I didn’t think they were a big deal.

The first doctor I saw told me he thought they were “keloids” which are a type of scaring, but he referred me to the dermatology department just to be sure.

I got a call to schedule an appointment that next week.

Going in with no real expectations I just assumed she would confirm the keloids and it’d be over.

You could imagine my sudden rush of emotions when she told me she needed to do a biopsy.

My heart sunk.

But I just had to keep telling myself that it was going to be ok.

That it was just a precaution.

I found out that I wasn’t going to find out the results of the biopsy for one to two weeks.

I remember joking with Jason that I could google “skin cancer” so many times in two weeks.

I was at home on my lunch break a week later when I got a call from my dermatologist. She told me the one thing I honestly didn’t think she would.

I had skin cancer.

She informed me that I have Dermatofibrosarcoma Protuberans, or DFSP. Which is a very rare form of skin cancer.

It’s a soft tissue sarcoma that develops in soft layers in the skin. There are roughly 1000 cases a year.

My heart sunk.

It’s slow growing, DFSP, so I’m not in a situation where we’re rushing to get them removed or anything.

But don’t worry I’m getting them removed next month.

And the surgery I’m having has a 98 percent effective rate of getting rid of everything.

With DFSP however, there’s a chance it can come back, but we won’t think about that.

But it’s still scary.

Cancer is still cancer.

It’s still awful.

You never want to hear that word.

I’ve never considered anyone close to me having cancer, let alone myself.

And then it actually happens, and you have no idea where to even start.

There were definitely moments where I thought to myself, that I must have done something wrong somewhere in life.

That has to be why this is happening.

You see the thing with DFSP is, no one really knows why or how it starts.

There are a few theories floating around but no one knows for sure.

And for someone who needs to know anything and everything, not having a definite answer is annoying to say the least.

I’ve juggled between different emotions.

Being mad, that this cancer chose me.

Sad, and thinking about the worse case scenario.

Positive, remembering everything I’ve done since I found that first bump a few years ago.

And content, knowing that as much as I want to, I cannot control this.

It’s not happening to me, but it’s something that’s happened and I now have to overcome it.

Thinking that this is something I have to do by myself scares me most of all.

I have the worlds best support system.

My family, husband, and forty something kids that I coach.

They’re all cheering for me.

But this is something that I have to go through.

I went to the doctors the other day and it was surreal walking to the room.

I left my husband and went behind these doors, by myself.

I passed all of these signs with the name of the surgery I’m getting.

Special seats to wait in before the surgery.

It all seemed so surreal.

You see, especially with a twin, I haven’t had to go through much in my life without someone by my side.

My mom, dad, sister, husband, friends, I haven’t done much alone.

And that’s scary.

But this is mine.

This is that thing, that I have to do by myself.

I obviously will continue to have my amazing support system by my side.

But this is all me.

And I can’t control much of anything.

But I can control my attitude.

I can control the fact that this won’t stop me from living my life like I do on a regular basis.

That I can go about as normal as I want.

But that I won’t let things scare me anymore.

Small things.

Big things.

Things that hold me back.

Like driving on the highway.

I drove on highway 22 between Dallas and Salem the other day.

If you know me at all, you’ll understand what kind of triumph that is.

I remember thinking that I could take the easy back road like I’ve done before, but then I remember asking myself why.

Why take the safe route.

Why not do something that scares you, regardless of the size.

Why not just take a deep breath and tackle it.

So I did.

I faced a fear of mine.

Because I feel like I see things differently now.

I feel like I have this new little perspective.

That I can’t hold myself back, because of these imaginary fears.

These “worse case scenarios” that I imagine aren’t something that I should be wasting my time on.

I should be living a little more.

Doing more.

Smiling more.

Finding things I love and investing so much of myself into them.

This cancer isn’t holding me back from anything and won’t hurt me.

If anything it’ll make me better.

Writing has been such an outlet for me.

I’ve been trying to think of a way to tell this story and writing about it definitely seemed like the best way.

I’ll definitely be updating everyone as the time goes.

But for now, I leave you with this.

Be nice to people.

Do great things.

And don’t let stupid fears hold you back.

 

Do something that scares you.

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They always say to do something that scares you.

To live outside of your comfort zone.

That you’ll be better for it.

Well I hate to break it to you, but it’s true.

You don’t need to do it all of the time.

You’ll be just fine if you spend most of your time your comfort zone.

That’s okay.

But if you want to grow, you need to get outside of it every once and a while.

Do something that makes you uncomfortable.

Do something that scares you.

If you know me well, you know that I hate flying.

My stomach turns as I’m approaching the airport.

I get nervous at any sign of turbulence.

There’s just so much that gets to me.

I hate it.

I’ve gotten better, but it still makes me nervous.

I put myself in a situation to fight this fear on Friday.

My best friend lives in Missouri, and I haven’t seen her in a year in a half.

I talk to her here and there but we haven’t gotten to spend time together in quite some time.

I found myself really missing her this last spring, and with some push from my husband, decided to fight one of my biggest fears to go and see her.

Flying by myself.

Just the thought of it made me so incredibly nervous.

We all have fears in life, and this is one of my biggest.

I looked for the only nonstop flights that were available, and booked my tickets as fast as I could.

For the fear of doubting my decision.

I put if off in my mind.

I let the excitement of seeing my best friend outweigh the thought of flying by myself for the first time in my life.

The more I didn’t think about it, the faster the day approached.

I packed my suitcase and tried to leave behind every worry I had.

Saying goodbye to my husband and son was hard, I tried to fight back tears as they left.

I felt a certain sense of accomplishment as I made it through the security line, it meant I had moved one step closer.

I sat in silence waiting for our plane to board.

The fact that we boarded 20 minutes late didn’t help my nerves, but meeting a nice family in line to board did.

I snagged the first window seat I could find and was joined by two super nice people.

There were only a few minutes between sitting down and the plane taking off, that seemed to help.

The woman who sat down next to me could tell that I was nervous, she kept asking me questions and talking to me as we took off.

Her genuine kindness made me forget about what I was afraid of.

Once I popped in my headphones and turned on 13 going on 30, I kind of forgot about everything.

It was such a smooth flight.

I looked out the window as often as I could, in awe of what I was doing.

I couldn’t believe that I was up in the air, by myself, doing the one thing that scares me the most.

The smooth flight was almost a sign.

A sign that I didn’t need to worry.

After a little more than three hours, we landed in St. Louis Missouri.

I was over 2000 miles from home.

I walked out of the terminal with so much pride in myself.

And I was reminded of why I did it when I saw my best friends car approach me outside of the airport.

I got to have such a fantastic weekend with my best friend in a brand new state.

I touched the St. Louis Arch.

I went a baseball game and crossed a 5th stadium off my list.

Most importantly, I got to take a peek into her world.

See where she has called home for two and a half years.

It was one of the best trips and I’m so incredibly thankful that I went.

That’s what happens when you step outside of your comfort zone.

You get rewarded.

You learn a little more about yourself.

Cross items off of your bucket list.

Make memories.

And face your fears.

You won’t overcome your fears unless you do those things that scare you.

I was so happy when our plane landed in Portland yesterday.

I’d be lying if I said that it was a good flight.

It sucked honestly.

But it didn’t matter.

I had done it.

I had done the one thing that scared me the most.

I flew across the country by myself.

And had such an amazing time.

So remember.

When they tell you to do the things that scare you.

Do them.

You won’t regret it.

be yourself.

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“In a world where you can be anything, be yourself.”

Have you heard this quote before?

I’ve heard it around and never really payed attention to  it.

It never made sense to me.

Obviously you’d want to be yourself, why wouldn’t you want to be anything but?

We all want to be ourselves and don’t think were being anything different.

I think it just kind of happens.

You’re watching television.

Scrolling through Instagram.

Looking at random ads on Facebook.

And it happens.

You get this idea.

That you’re life needs to be that way.

That if you act a certain way, you’ll get this certain outcome.

We all do it.

Sometimes we don’t even realize it.

And sometimes we do.

If we just pretend to like what everyone else likes, we’ll fit right in.

Or if we act a certain way on Instagram we’ll just become that in real life.

We just copy others and boom, our lives will be perfect.

Instead of being original.

Maybe if we always post selfies of us smiling, happy quotes, or pictures of us on great adventures, then we’ll have this awesome life.

We’ll become these happy people who are living these big lives.

But you never see what’s behind the pictures.

What’s behind people telling you that their life is perfect and they’re always happy.

You never see the struggles, tears, or doubt that we all go through.

You always see the good and never the bad.

Want to know why?

Instagram is just a highlight reel.

It’s not always real life.

You only see the good.

That’s what it’s for.

Everyone doesn’t have the perfect life with that perfect latte and perfect post workout glow.

Life’s perfect sometimes, but it’s also messy.

And that’s what makes it perfect.

Were surrounded by all of these different messages.

You’re not pretty enough, buy this product for perfect glowing skin.

You’re not fit enough, you need to do this workout.

You’re not happy enough, you need this in your life.

We literally have people asking if we want to be amazing, confident, and happy, then why don’t we do exactly what they’re doing.

That is what’s wrong.

Why would be happier, more confident, and more amazing being just like someone else.

Just like everyone else.

What’s wrong with us and the way were living our own life.

All of a sudden you’re worrying about why you aren’t as fit, happy, healthy, and perfect like the people on Instagram and television.

Because they’re telling you that you’re less than perfect.

That might sound harsh, but it’s the truth.

Think about it.

You’re constantly being told that you need to do more and be better.

That the current version of you might be good, but it’s not good enough.

Not as good as them and their life.

That you’re not good enough the way you are.

That’s whats happening.

Were surrounded by people telling us that somethings wrong with us.

Therefore we sit and worry.

We must not be happy, healthy, and perfect.

That were not good enough.

It’s this cycle that repeats itself if were not careful.

It’ll just keep happening.

We’ll just keep trying to make our lives look a certain way.

We’ll just keep pretending to be like everyone else.

Because that’s what were told to do.

That’s what were forced to believe.

That were not happy unless we post positive quotes and force a cheesy smile.

That were not fit enough unless we do the same workout that everyone else is doing.

That our life’s not good enough, because it’s not like theirs.

You just have to know what to look for.

If something makes you feel bad.

Makes you feel anything less than happy.

Don’t let it.

Say no to it.

Unfollow it.

Say out loud if you need to that it’s not going to make you unhappy anymore.

Be confident in your life and the choices you make to know that you’re good enough the way you are.

You can change, you can do things differently, but it needs to be because you want to.

Not because someone is telling you to.

Be happy the way you are.

Be happy with your life.

Be happy being yourself.

I have this card from my best friend pinned above my desk, and my favorite part of it is the last line.

“Keep being you, the girl who sings in the car, loves Grey’s, runs for sanity, and loves her family.”

Instead of surrounding yourself with images of people telling you that you’re not good enough.

Surround yourself with people who know you.

Who support you.

And who love you for who you are.

People who don’t want you to change.

Know that you’re good enough just the way you are.

And that you don’t need to be just like everyone else.

You don’t need to act a certain way to impress others or convince yourself that you’re a certain way.

You just need to be yourself.

And try not to worry about what other people are doing.

They’ll try and tell you that you’re not good enough the way you are.

That you need to be a certain way, or be just like them to be happy.

But they’re wrong.

The key to being happy.

Is being yourself.

A letter to running.

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Dear running,

We met each other young.

I was just a girl who loved to run and be active.

It was fun, and I was good at it.

It was something my sister and I could do together.

We spent so many days at track meets.

And people were starting to know our names.

You took two twin girls and gave them a bit of magic.

Those days of running when I was young turned into hours spent at my high school track.

Day after day I ran and ran.

Whatever Coach asked us to do, we did together.

You made me feel confident and gave me something to be proud of, in a world where everyone was trying to find themselves.

You brought me to new heights, and allowed me to realize that I could do anything I believed possible.

I know when I was 17, I took you for granted.

I didn’t care about you as much and I forgot about why I fell in love with you in the first place.

I’m forever sorry.

But I know you forgave me.

It was a hard journey back to where we left off, but we got there.

You taught me that with determination and persistence, dreams can come true.

You took me to College.

You helped me meet some of my best friends and took me to so many new places.

We didn’t get the results that we wanted right away.

In fact, it took until my last year.

I finally let go of everything that was holding me back and just focused on you.

And with that, you allowed me to fully believe in myself again.

We didn’t hold anything back.

We stood on that starting line together, took a deep breath in, and just ran.

I did so much that year.

And it’s all thanks to you.

You gave me something for not only me to be proud, but my family.

I was always a good kid, never got in trouble, and had good grades.

But you gave me that one thing that put me over the edge.

My grandma went to as many races as she could, my grandpa bragged to everyone about his granddaughters, and my parents were my number one fans.

There were definitely times where I wasn’t sure if I was doing life right.

If I was making the right choices and making my family proud.

But because of you, I knew that I always was.

Life after college was weird.

My structure was gone.

No one was telling me that I had to run anymore.

They don’t tell you after your career ends how hard it is.

We ran together here and there but never really knew why.

It wasn’t until the Boston Marathon bombings of 2013, that we finally realized what we were running for.

Something bigger than ourselves.

We laced up my shoes every day for six months training for that marathon.

We had set a goal of qualifying for the Boston Marathon, and we missed it by just a few minutes.

That’s okay though.

We know that we’ll do it one day.

Along the way of training for the marathon, the coolest thing happened.

I started coaching.

We could use our knowledge of running to help others.

I joined my sister for what was going to be the most rewarding thing in my entire life as we helped coach the cross country team.

She introduced me to the head coach, who just two years later, would become my husband.

In 2015 my dad joined us and became the head coach of the track team.

You helped me start my family and bring me even closer than I already was to the family I had.

You helped me in a time where I had absolutely no idea what I wanted to do with my life.

I was lost, scared, and thought that I had lost everything.

But you led the way.

Because of you, my life is the way that it is.

I am strong.

Passionate.

Confident.

Brave.

Because of you, I know how to work towards what I want in life.

You were there for me when I was lost.

You were the one thing that I could always rely on.

You never let me down, and taught me so many life lessons.

When I fell, you were right there to pick me back up.

And you’re still here.

After sixteen years, you’re still here.

We run and we run.

As far as we want to.

You’re always right there and you always will be.

And I hope that I can make you proud.

 

Envious.

We’re all guilty of being envious, whether we realize it or not.

You could see someones brand new car and wish that you weren’t stuck with your Toyota corolla from the 90’s.

A girl could walk by with these brand new designer shoes and you wish that you could afford shoes like that.

You could even be envious of someones well behaved child while yours throws a fit in Target.

It’s not something that you should be ashamed of.

We all do it.

Sometimes without even realizing it.

I was having a conversation with one of my athletes a couple of weeks ago.

For some reason we were talking about my brother and I brought up his tattoos.

That he just thinks of a funny idea and gets it.

I told him that I envied how he could just do that.

Not obsess and overthink, but just decide that he wants to do something and do it.

He  responded with “You say that a lot, that you envy him. You always say I envy how he can just do things, why don’t you just do it.”

He had an excellent point.

I do that.

Way more than I realize.

My little brother is a wonderful example of just doing things because he wants to.

Getting tattoos.

Going to Hawaii to visit his friend.

Wearing whatever clothes he wants because he thinks they’re cool.

He literally does whatever he wants and doesn’t care what anyone else thinks.

I know what you’re thinking.

Megan that’s easy.

Just decide that you want to do something and go do it.

But if you’ve been reading my blog for a little while then you know that’s something I just can’t do.

I can’t make a decision quickly.

I can’t think about weekend plans without obsessing over every little detail.

I can’t even make major life decisions without consulting with someone else.

That’s just how I am.

I’m wired to think about every little detail of every decision.

I don’t hate it.

But it’s not my favorite thing about myself.

Sometimes I like planning things out.

I like having complete control of what happens when and how it happens.

But on that same note, when I don’t have control I go crazy inside.

Think of Joyce Byers in season one of stranger things.

Okay, not that crazy but you get the idea.

Believe it or not, I’ve been trying to practice the art of letting things go.

I’ve tried to practice the art of stopping and breathing before I start to obsess over something.

Does it work all the time?

No.

But it works sometimes.

Being aware of a bad habit of mine, and making a conscious effort to fix it.

I think it’s important to look at ourselves and the things we know we could work on.

What’s one thing you do, that you wish you wouldn’t?

One thing you wish you could start doing?

Or one thing you wish you could do better or quit doing all together.

I think as humans we want other people to think that we’re perfect in every aspect of our lives, or at least what others see.

We don’t want anyone to think that we have a bad habit or trait.

We want them to think that we have perfect tempers, always tell the truth, or that we’re always easy going.

That our life is 100 percent put together all the time.

When we all know that’s not the case.

Instead of really reflecting on ourselves and what we can do better, we just pretend to have it all together for the sake of other people.

I think I’m too worried about looking like the control freak that I am, that I just keep it all bundled up instead of trying to fix it.

It makes me envious of others who can just do things.

Who don’t have to think before they do even the smallest of things.

And instead of fixing these things, I just spend my days envious of people who can do as they please.

We all do this.

Spend time being envious versus actually fixing the problem.

Whether you think you do or not, you probably do.

Instead of taking that risk, we sit and watch others accomplish our goals.

When I was younger, for the most part, I would have told you that I could make even my wildest dreams come true.

The President of the United states..

A reporter..

Public Relations manager for the LA Dodgers..

A Lawyer..

You name it, I wanted to do it.

It’s funny actually..

The older I got the more I doubted myself.

I still have dreams, they’ve just downsized a bit.

But I still have those big ones.

The ones that have stayed around while the others called it quits.

The ones that seem so big, that they scare you a little.

You’re never too old for those ones.

Instead of spending my days being envious of others who can do these things that I dream of, I’ve decided to just do it.

Regardless of time.

Negative thoughts.

Fear of rejection and the unknown.

I’m just going to do it.

I’ve wasted too much time sitting and admiring people who are accomplishing my goals.

Who are working hard and putting in the effort towards that one thing they want to do.

Who can just be free of the worries of their peers and what they might think.

They might laugh.

They might judge.

They might say your ideas are dumb.

But that’s their problem.

Not yours.

You have dreams to reach.

 

 

 

 

Where I’ve been.

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I haven’t written anything in two and a half weeks.

Not sure if anyone noticed.

Or cared.

But I did.

It drove me insane.

It’s all I could think about.

I would sit in front of my computer and just stare.

I didn’t have a single idea that fit my prompts for the day.

No throwback stories seemed important enough.

I couldn’t think of anything fun or interesting for my Saturday fun day post.

And by that point Sunday just felt like I was forcing it.

At the beginning of the year these prompts were exciting. I would jump to my notebook and write an idea out as it came to me.

It was fun.

Fresh.

Exciting.

Then it got boring.

Dull.

Mundane.

It turned into something I thought I had to do versus something I wanted to do.

I wasn’t looking forward to writing anymore.

And that was so upsetting for me.

This is my little corner.

My world.

A space to fill with the words that flood my mind daily.

I felt like I had lost it for a little there.

Do you ever feel like that?

Like you lost your spark?

Nothings wrong in your life.

You’re happy, loved, and enjoying the days as they come.

But that little spark of magic that was yours took a small vacation and was showing no signs of coming back.

That was me.

I lost my magic.

It’s kind of funny.

Calling my writing magic.

But that’s what it is to me.

Your magic is that thing that you do so well.

It’s that thing that ignites a fire in you.

It gives you joy on the darkest of days.

You could be the best at it, or the worst at it.

But it creates this magic in your life that you sometimes forget is there.

Well I lost mine.

I started worrying.

Was my stuff good enough?

Did people like it?

What was the purpose of my writing?

I started doubting every idea I had.

I just didn’t enjoy writing anymore.

But I love it.

I love writing and I don’t care if two people read it or two hundred people read it.

I love it so much.

It’s my escape.

My corner.

The thing that ignites the fire inside of me.

It’s my magic.

I caught a few glimpses of it while on this little hiatus.

Thoughts that would come and go.

 Ideas that sparked my interests and gave me ideas.

They didn’t fit my writing prompts for certain days but I didn’t care.

That was an idea to get me writing more often in the New Year.

It worked, and I enjoyed it while it lasted.

It served it’s purpose and I’m happy it did.

But I’m done with it now.

I’m ready to write as it comes to me.

Like I’ve done before.

Like I love doing.

I came across a sentence in a book that I’ve been reading.

“Do you have the courage to bring forth the treasures that are hidden within you?”

It was the reality check that I needed.

A slap in the face if you will.

I was afraid.

And I hate admitting it.

But I was afraid.

I had lost that confidence that I had gained from writing.

From sharing my words with anyone who would read them.

And the positive words from those readers.

For some reason I was doubting myself and the ideas in my head.

Doubting the magic that I knew I had.

I’ll be the first one to tell you if I’m being dumb.

And I was being dumb.

I had lost the courage to show my writing to the world.

Something that I loved so much.

Something that brought me so much joy.

Scared me.

Reading this line from the book really opened my eyes.

In order to find your magic, you need to have the courage to bring it to the world.

The thing that gives you life, you must give it life to have it blossom into the beauty that it can become.

Don’t let the fact that you’re scared stop you from finding your magic.

Or in the words of the movie A Cinderella Story.

Don’t let the fear of striking out, keep you from playing the game.

Whatever you love in life.

Whatever brings you so much joy that you want to show it to the world.

Find it.

If you lost it, bring it back.

No matter what, don’t give up on it.

Trust that if it’s taking a break from you, it’s a needed break.

But don’t give up hope.

I lost my magic.

But it’s back.

What’s stopping you from finding yours?