Impermanence.

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I usually post story times on Thursdays.

And I want to keep doing that.

But yesterday was different.

So naturally I had to write about it.

It wasn’t the best day.

And it wasn’t the worst day ever.

It just wasn’t great.

And in typical Megan fashion, I took things personally.

When in reality it wasn’t on me.

I was pretty bummed out all day.

You know how those days go?

You spill your coffee.

Get a rude email at work.

Someone says something mean to you.

You run into traffic.

All of the small things that can add up make everything seem worse than it actually is.

That’s how yesterday went.

And most of this week for that matter.

I was super frustrated.

I feel like I’m a good person for the most part.

I use my turning signal, hold the door open for people, and I don’t do anything illegal.

The one “bad” habit I have is drinking too much coffee.

That or swearing as much as I do.

But that’s it.

I’ve always believed in Karma.

Because I had to give myself that reassurance that people who did bad things would have bad things happen to them in return.

It just made me feel better.

With that being said, I get frustrated when bad things happen to good people.

It doesn’t make sense.

Are you supposed to learn some giant life lesson?

Is it going to direct you down this new magical path in life.

Is it all a part of something bigger than we can possibly understand.

I just couldn’t wrap my mind around how all of these bad things were happening to me, small, but bad nonetheless.

What about Karma?

Wasn’t it supposed to help me out?

Didn’t it have my back?

As much as I tried to figure out why these bad things were happening to me, I just couldn’t find an answer

I did however, found a solution to it yesterday.

A temporary fix if you will.

I came across this word that was new to me.

Impermanence.

I saw the word described in a paragraph.

Life is always changing and I drift easily through those changes, good and bad. As I drift through hard times, I can take comfort in knowing that I will leave them behind. As I drift away from good times I can take comfort in knowing that more will come my way. 

It’s beautiful really.

Life is always changing, we have no control over it.

And we have to accept that.

Good things will happen, and bad things will happen.

But they’ll always be happening.

As we experience those hard times we should take comfort.

Comfort in knowing that eventually you will leave them behind.

And most importantly in my opinion, that as the good times come and go, you can take comfort in knowing that more are going to come.

I think that’s harder than going through the bad times.

Watching the good times go.

Graduating from college.

Watching your children move out.

Sending your best friend off to move across the Country.

It’s still hard.

Seeing something that you’ve loved so much change and becoming different.

Taking comfort that you once knew, with something that was a constant in your life, and watching it change.

Wondering if things will ever be the same.

But knowing that no matter what, more good things will come your way.

I took this yesterday and really let it sit with me.

In the peak of my bad day, this hit me so incredibly hard.

And hits me even more as I write this now, reflecting on it all.

I told myself over and over again.

I will eventually leave these bad days behind.

And it helped, believe it or not.

Saying this over and over again made the negative thoughts escape.

I think if you believe in something so much, you can create it.

Even if it’s just a thought.

If you believe in something enough, it’ll happen.

The bad days will be left behind.

And those good days that you love so much, will too be left behind.

But they’ll be back.

Just different.

This gave me comfort yesterday.

Comfort when I was having a bad day.

And I hope that it can help you as well.

That no matter what might be going wrong, big or small, that it will be left behind.

That it’ll be just a memory.

Something that happened to you.

But that you can take comfort in knowing that it’s gone.

And because of it, you’re stronger the next time around.

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Where would you go?

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If you could run away where would you go? Would you go?

There’s always one place in my mind.

A place that I instantly fell in love with the first time I saw it.

Maybe it’s because when I first saw it at age 15 I was in complete awe and knew that I wanted to go back.

Or because I got to explore it with my husband ten years later.

New York City.

I wouldn’t normally love somewhere that’s flooded with people and noise, since I can barely handle crowds at the grocery store.

But there’s something about New York that I just love.

If there’s a movie or television show that takes place in New York, I have to watch it.

Pictures of the view from the Empire State Building.

The thought of pizza from Rubirosa.

Or bagels from H&H.

Anything that has me dreaming of the City that never sleeps.

Jason and I went there on our honeymoon.

I know, I know, New York on your honeymoon?

Not the typical honeymoon destination.

We decided we wanted to go somewhere we would have endless adventures.

And New York was that place.

We stayed in a hotel on the upper East Side near the edge of Central Park.

Our hotel room was so incredibly small and the view from our window was a brick wall.

Glamours I know.

There was a little secret to it though.

If you went to the rooftop you had this amazing view of Central Park.

We both knew it would be the first place we had to go.

We tried going at night.

I felt like Kevin McCallister in that one scene of Home Alone 2 where he walks through there at night.

Not our best idea.

During the day was much better.

We walked for 12 miles and still didn’t cover it all.

It was easily my favorite part of the trip.

Besides the bagels of course.

We walked miles and miles.

Mastered the subway after a few trips.

Went to the Bronx Zoo.

Saw a Yankee game at night against the Red Soxs.

Saw the World Trade Center memorial.

Got to watch the Today Show film.

Went to the Museum of Natural History.

One of the highlights of the trip was taking a boat tour.

We hopped on this relatively small boat and took off along the outer part of the city.

We had Brooklyn on one side and New York on the other.

Seeing the city as the sun set and the buildings all lit up, was the most wonderful site.

And the Statue of Liberty in all her glory.

It was the best trip.

But it’s just something about that city.

The feeling that you can be anyone you want to be.

That dreams completely fall apart or come true right in front of your eyes.

There’s something about the magic of New York City that I just loved.

Would I go if I had the opportunity to just run away?

No.

I’m not impulsive.

And I wouldn’t go unless my family could go with me.

The city is so big and full of life.

But can also feel very lonely.

I wouldn’t want to go by myself.

If I had the opportunity to pack my loved ones up and explore the city at this time of year, I would go.

Just not by myself.

Maybe I love the city because of this time of year.

I’ve never been lucky enough to get to see it during this time of year, but I want to do it in my lifetime.

And during New Year’s.

I’ve been do Las Vegas many times, and dodger stadium is amazing, but New York City has my heart and always will.

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Megan’s Month: March 2017

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Oh March..you sneaky little month you..you’ve passed by so incredibly fast. It seems like just yesterday that I was praying for February to be over so I could get over that non stop sickness, and now baseball season is right around the corner.

Life does that to you.

You think that you’ll be stuck in your daily routine, or whatever problem you’re facing will last all day every day.

Then it’s over.

Everything goes by so fast.

My wonderful little bundle of joy turned five months old this month…

FIVE MONTHS.

It might not seem like much but all of my mom friends can agree that it all goes by so fast. He’s so close to crawling, next he’ll be walking, and if I’m lucky he’ll be running.

That kid keeps us on our toes.

He had a little ear infection this month and it caused Jason and I to be more aware, well we are already but more aware. Any spare time we had was spent by his side making sure he was comfortable and happy.

Which this kid always is.

Seriously.

He is happy 97 percent of the time and I love it. It makes me think, if a 5 month old has a fever and an ear infection and he can still smile, then I can too.

His joy for life and curiosity is everything.

Track also started this month, well technically it started on February 27th, but you get my point.

That has been a crazy ride within itself.

I usually coach the distance runners because hello, distance running runs through my veins.

My dad and I started the hurdle program back up last year and it consisted of four runners who met maybe three times a week and jumped over hurdles for 20 minutes or so.

It has now grown to 12 consistent hurdlers who all work so hard, and I’m not just saying that. I haven’t worked with my usual distance kids, it’s weird, but I like our hurdlers. I like what we’ve created.

These kids listen to us, have faith in us, and trust us. There is now this little hurdle family that I’m so proud of and they’ve only competed in two meets so far.

That’s another thing.

A majority of these hurdlers have either never done it before, or are freshmen. In middle school they jumped over a much shorter height than in high school. For instance, in middle school the boys ran the 100 meter over 30 inch hurdlers, in high school they have to adjust to the 110 meter with 39 inch hurdlers.

Nine inches might not see like a lot, but you should compare the two if you ever get a chance.

These kids do it though.

They adjust to the change of middle school to high school, or never jumping over a hurdle before and they do it.

They aren’t afraid, or if they are they don’t show it at all.

They continue to improve and run the workouts even though it’s such a new change.

That’s mainly what March has consisted of.. Ian and Track.

I go to work, go to practice, pick Ian up from my mom, take care of him and our family, sleep, and do it until the weekend.

That’s why it goes by so fast.

We are all so buckled down on our routines, and next thing you know your child is approaching six months and you’re staring at old newborn pictures on your phone…just me…cool.

But that’s fine.

Routines are just fine, your routine is what makes your life.

I love my routine and I wouldn’t want it any other way.

And what’s most important, is that when you’re routine gets tough, when you have a hurdle to get over, that you get over it.

Life sometimes doesn’t go “according to plan” and things happen.

New things, hard things, scary things.

But you find the beauty in them and you grow.

That’s my theme this month..

Being brave in spite of the hard things.

I’ve seen on multiple different occasions this month, people being brave and doing things that seem hard. Whether you’re a five month old baby and you smile through a sickness, or you’re a runner learning a new event.

You become brave and you tackle the hard stuff.

Some other things I’ve been loving this month..

Drake’s “More Life” Album

Jane the Virgin

Venti Iced Coffee’s

Working out

My sister

Teaching Ian how to crawl

Listening to music loudly

Wine

March had a lot of beauty hidden in it. There was a lot of growth and courage from so many different people around me. So many people tackling things in their lives. Jumping over those little hurdles that would scare anyone else. They put their brave faces on and tackled the hard stuff. In the midst of their daily routines, they tackled it all. Try not to get so lost in the hard things, try to find the good and them. And appreciate the good in your daily routines.

Soundtrack to March 2017:

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Quote of the month:

“The hardest step she ever took was to blindly trust in who she was.”
-Atticus