be yourself.

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“In a world where you can be anything, be yourself.”

Have you heard this quote before?

I’ve heard it around and never really payed attention to  it.

It never made sense to me.

Obviously you’d want to be yourself, why wouldn’t you want to be anything but?

We all want to be ourselves and don’t think were being anything different.

I think it just kind of happens.

You’re watching television.

Scrolling through Instagram.

Looking at random ads on Facebook.

And it happens.

You get this idea.

That you’re life needs to be that way.

That if you act a certain way, you’ll get this certain outcome.

We all do it.

Sometimes we don’t even realize it.

And sometimes we do.

If we just pretend to like what everyone else likes, we’ll fit right in.

Or if we act a certain way on Instagram we’ll just become that in real life.

We just copy others and boom, our lives will be perfect.

Instead of being original.

Maybe if we always post selfies of us smiling, happy quotes, or pictures of us on great adventures, then we’ll have this awesome life.

We’ll become these happy people who are living these big lives.

But you never see what’s behind the pictures.

What’s behind people telling you that their life is perfect and they’re always happy.

You never see the struggles, tears, or doubt that we all go through.

You always see the good and never the bad.

Want to know why?

Instagram is just a highlight reel.

It’s not always real life.

You only see the good.

That’s what it’s for.

Everyone doesn’t have the perfect life with that perfect latte and perfect post workout glow.

Life’s perfect sometimes, but it’s also messy.

And that’s what makes it perfect.

Were surrounded by all of these different messages.

You’re not pretty enough, buy this product for perfect glowing skin.

You’re not fit enough, you need to do this workout.

You’re not happy enough, you need this in your life.

We literally have people asking if we want to be amazing, confident, and happy, then why don’t we do exactly what they’re doing.

That is what’s wrong.

Why would be happier, more confident, and more amazing being just like someone else.

Just like everyone else.

What’s wrong with us and the way were living our own life.

All of a sudden you’re worrying about why you aren’t as fit, happy, healthy, and perfect like the people on Instagram and television.

Because they’re telling you that you’re less than perfect.

That might sound harsh, but it’s the truth.

Think about it.

You’re constantly being told that you need to do more and be better.

That the current version of you might be good, but it’s not good enough.

Not as good as them and their life.

That you’re not good enough the way you are.

That’s whats happening.

Were surrounded by people telling us that somethings wrong with us.

Therefore we sit and worry.

We must not be happy, healthy, and perfect.

That were not good enough.

It’s this cycle that repeats itself if were not careful.

It’ll just keep happening.

We’ll just keep trying to make our lives look a certain way.

We’ll just keep pretending to be like everyone else.

Because that’s what were told to do.

That’s what were forced to believe.

That were not happy unless we post positive quotes and force a cheesy smile.

That were not fit enough unless we do the same workout that everyone else is doing.

That our life’s not good enough, because it’s not like theirs.

You just have to know what to look for.

If something makes you feel bad.

Makes you feel anything less than happy.

Don’t let it.

Say no to it.

Unfollow it.

Say out loud if you need to that it’s not going to make you unhappy anymore.

Be confident in your life and the choices you make to know that you’re good enough the way you are.

You can change, you can do things differently, but it needs to be because you want to.

Not because someone is telling you to.

Be happy the way you are.

Be happy with your life.

Be happy being yourself.

I have this card from my best friend pinned above my desk, and my favorite part of it is the last line.

“Keep being you, the girl who sings in the car, loves Grey’s, runs for sanity, and loves her family.”

Instead of surrounding yourself with images of people telling you that you’re not good enough.

Surround yourself with people who know you.

Who support you.

And who love you for who you are.

People who don’t want you to change.

Know that you’re good enough just the way you are.

And that you don’t need to be just like everyone else.

You don’t need to act a certain way to impress others or convince yourself that you’re a certain way.

You just need to be yourself.

And try not to worry about what other people are doing.

They’ll try and tell you that you’re not good enough the way you are.

That you need to be a certain way, or be just like them to be happy.

But they’re wrong.

The key to being happy.

Is being yourself.

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Advice to my younger self.

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If I could, I would give my younger self a lot of advice.

Advice that I knowingly wouldn’t want to hear.

You see…it may be hard to believe..but as a child I was very stubborn.

Shocker I know.

I would roll my eyes to almost anything my parents told me to do.

But they shouldn’t be mad, I did it to everyone who tried to tell me what to do.

I thought I knew all of life’s answers.

Especially when it came to boys.

Don’t date him Megan he’s a bad kid.

Maybe you should focus on school and not boys.

Megan he cheated on someone before, what makes you think he won’t do it again?

I had heard it all.

Ya see..I thought I had these magic powers.

That I could change someone.

If a guy was a jerk or hadn’t always been faithful in a relationship, I thought I was going to be that person to change him.

That wasn’t just something I did when I was younger, I did it up into my early twenties.

It isn’t the smartest thing to do.

To think that you can change someone.

You literally have no control over what they choose to do.

That was just a small part of my problem growing up.

From middle school to my first year out of college, I was consumed with this thought.

The thought that I needed to have a boyfriend.

I can sit here and blame it on Kate Hudson for days but that’s not the full reason and I know it.

I was fascinated with this idea of love.

I had seen my parents, grandparents, and couples on television completely in love and happy.

So that had to have meant that if you had love, you would be happy.

I wanted someone to love me like that.

Someone to sweep me off of my feet.

To show me affection the way couples in love did.

To quote a Mary-Kate and Ashley movie, “that can’t eat, can’t sleep, reach for the stars, over the fence, world series kind of stuff.”

That’s what I wanted.

And I was so consumed with this thought that only true love would make me happy that I didn’t even think of falling in love with the person I saw in the mirror every day.

Not in this conceded kind of way.

But the way where you truly appreciate yourself.

Where you love your flaws, your fears, and everything in between.

That’s the love I should have been focusing on.

Not the love of a stupid boy.

And boys are stupid.

I had a conversation with some girls that I coach yesterday.

My sister and I were hanging around them as they talked about cute boys.

I told them the one piece of advice I wish I would have listened to when I was younger.

Boys are stupid in high school.

And in College too.

Just focus on yourself and the good ones will come.

Now that’s not to say that you can’t marry your high school or college sweetheart.

That’s not at all what I’m saying.

But we’re all just trying to figure life out

We’re all still making mistakes and learning from them.

You can’t expect this big love from someone who doesn’t love themselves yet.

Dating is fine, it’s how we know what we like or dislike in someone that we want as a partner in life.

But being so fixated on finding love isn’t.

I wanted someone to love me so badly that I was looking for it in the wrong people.

Out of all of the boys I liked growing up, I only had one really good relationship.

And they taught me so much about what I wanted in a relationship.

We’re even still friends today.

That’s how I know it was good.

And I’m not necessarily blaming the boys I dated for our bad relationships.

They were all just still figuring life out.

The liars and the cheaters, well they still had a lot to figure out.

But why did I want so badly to find a love with someone who didn’t even know what he wanted.

I wanted love so badly I was blind to everything else.

I was spending hours and hours talking to boys who didn’t really care what I wanted to do after high school.

Giving my heart to boys who would just step on it days later.

Lying to the people I loved most just to protect the boy I was dating.

I did it all.

I was so dumb.

That’s not nice but whatever, when it came to boys I was dumb.

I had good grades, was an pretty good athlete, but could have been so much better if I wasn’t thinking about having a boyfriend so much.

That’s the one piece of advice I would give my younger self.

Out of everything in this world, it would be to not focus so much on having a boyfriend.

To just focus on yourself, and the right one will come to you.

Think about it.

If you have no idea what you want out of life, or even who you are, how do you expect to find this big love.

And if you don’t know who you are growing up, do you think everyone else does?

Chances are no.

No one knows who they are.

We’re all just figuring out life.

When we’re ready, when we finally seem to have this idea of who we are.

When we truly start to love ourselves.

That’s when we’ll find that kind of love.