How to be unapologetically yourself?
By far one of the toughest questions I’ve ever been asked.
By someone who I really admire.
I asked people on Instagram the other week if they had any advice for me.
This was the first question I got.
It definitely left my puzzled.
What does it even mean, to be unapologetically yourself?
And do I somehow reflect that to others?
That I am truly unapologetically myself?
Because I wasn’t sure if I was.
I literally question everything.
I doubt myself.
And I wouldn’t say I’m confident.
Far from it, and that’s been a struggle since I was 17.
But I own that.
I own these faults.
I own my mistakes
Because they make me who I am.
Those times I chased down love that didn’t exist.
The times I followed others hoping it would lead me to myself.
Everything I’ve done in life made me who I am right now.
Has formed the person who I see every morning in the mirror.
And I love her so much.
She’s been through some tough shit.
But she knows how to own it.
You kind of just have to accept it.
Accept those things that you think are flaws.
Those are you.
Because guess what?
We all have them.
Maybe some worse than others.
But we’re all messed up.
We just live in this weird time.
A time that our parents didn’t have to grow up in.
Where all you have to do is pull up Instagram or Facebook and instantly lose self esteem.
People are going to try and tell you that they’re life is perfect.
And it’ll leave you questioning yours.
You might not realize it but it totally does.
Here’s a secret.
None of us have perfect lives.
Why waste your time being so worried about having everything perfect? Or worried about how others perceive you?
My dad never sugar coated things for me as a kid, and I will forever be grateful for that.
I take so much of that into my own life.
Why sugar coat who we are?
Why say that we’re happy and fake these perfect smiles when we’re having a bad day?
Embrace the mess.
Embrace the shit.
Embrace the “I don’t know what the hell I’m doing” because that’s you.
That’s where you learn who you really are.
If you’re going through a hard time, take it and run with it.
Don’t shut it down.
Don’t cover it up with filters and happy Instagram captions.
Because that’s what life is.
It’s about making mistakes and learning from them.
Having broken hearts so that you can learn how to put it back together.
Feeling like you’re completely at rock bottom so that the top feels that much better.
It’s ok to be broken.
It’s ok to be messy.
Nothing’s wrong with that.
Feel that pain.
Really feel it.
Take it and remember everything about it.
So that when it’s gone, you take something from it.
And in the end you can look at yourself and your life and be happy with it.
Even if there are faults in it.
Because there will be.
There always will be.
But you can’t question yourself because of it.
It’s your story.
At times it may be tragic.
It might leave you not wanting to finish it.
You may slam the book shut and refuse to except how it’s going.
But don’t do that.
Pick it back up.
Because there’s a happy ending.
You just have to wait for it.
It’s easy to look at the lives of others and wonder how they do it.
How they clearly seem to be living this perfect life.
Or how to seem to be completely themselves.
Just know, they struggle too.
And it’s ok.
I think in order to be unapologetically ourselves, we have to accept that.
That were not going to be perfect.
That not every picture is going to be Instagram worthy.
That some days you’re going to cry three separate times before noon.
You wonder if you’re doing a good job.
If you’re going to be okay.
And you will.
Just take every little thing about your life and accept it.
Stop living life for the acceptance of others and live it for the acceptance of yourself.
Do it to make yourself happy.
Do it in spite of everything that’s hurt you.
Everything that’s tried to break you.
Just be yourself.
Be that person who gets too emotionally involved in things.
Who loves love.
That person who has gone through so much and is better because of it.
Once you start embracing the beautiful mess that you are, you’ll really surprise yourself.
Hope that helps. ❤