Envious.

We’re all guilty of being envious, whether we realize it or not.

You could see someones brand new car and wish that you weren’t stuck with your Toyota corolla from the 90’s.

A girl could walk by with these brand new designer shoes and you wish that you could afford shoes like that.

You could even be envious of someones well behaved child while yours throws a fit in Target.

It’s not something that you should be ashamed of.

We all do it.

Sometimes without even realizing it.

I was having a conversation with one of my athletes a couple of weeks ago.

For some reason we were talking about my brother and I brought up his tattoos.

That he just thinks of a funny idea and gets it.

I told him that I envied how he could just do that.

Not obsess and overthink, but just decide that he wants to do something and do it.

Heย  responded with “You say that a lot, that you envy him. You always say I envy how he can just do things, why don’t you just do it.”

He had an excellent point.

I do that.

Way more than I realize.

My little brother is a wonderful example of just doing things because he wants to.

Getting tattoos.

Going to Hawaii to visit his friend.

Wearing whatever clothes he wants because he thinks they’re cool.

He literally does whatever he wants and doesn’t care what anyone else thinks.

I know what you’re thinking.

Megan that’s easy.

Just decide that you want to do something and go do it.

But if you’ve been reading my blog for a little while then you know that’s something I just can’t do.

I can’t make a decision quickly.

I can’t think about weekend plans without obsessing over every little detail.

I can’t even make major life decisions without consulting with someone else.

That’s just how I am.

I’m wired to think about every little detail of every decision.

I don’t hate it.

But it’s not my favorite thing about myself.

Sometimes I like planning things out.

I like having complete control of what happens when and how it happens.

But on that same note, when I don’t have control I go crazy inside.

Think of Joyce Byers in season one of stranger things.

Okay, not that crazy but you get the idea.

Believe it or not, I’ve been trying to practice the art of letting things go.

I’ve tried to practice the art of stopping and breathing before I start to obsess over something.

Does it work all the time?

No.

But it works sometimes.

Being aware of a bad habit of mine, and making a conscious effort to fix it.

I think it’s important to look at ourselves and the things we know we could work on.

What’s one thing you do, that you wish you wouldn’t?

One thing you wish you could start doing?

Or one thing you wish you could do better or quit doing all together.

I think as humans we want other people to think that we’re perfect in every aspect of our lives, or at least what others see.

We don’t want anyone to think that we have a bad habit or trait.

We want them to think that we have perfect tempers, always tell the truth, or that we’re always easy going.

That our life is 100 percent put together all the time.

When we all know that’s not the case.

Instead of really reflecting on ourselves and what we can do better, we just pretend to have it all together for the sake of other people.

I think I’m too worried about looking like the control freak that I am, that I just keep it all bundled up instead of trying to fix it.

It makes me envious of others who can just do things.

Who don’t have to think before they do even the smallest of things.

And instead of fixing these things, I just spend my days envious of people who can do as they please.

We all do this.

Spend time being envious versus actually fixing the problem.

Whether you think you do or not, you probably do.

Instead of taking that risk, we sit and watch others accomplish our goals.

When I was younger, for the most part, I would have told you that I could make even my wildest dreams come true.

The President of the United states..

A reporter..

Public Relations manager for the LA Dodgers..

A Lawyer..

You name it, I wanted to do it.

It’s funny actually..

The older I got the more I doubted myself.

I still have dreams, they’ve just downsized a bit.

But I still have those big ones.

The ones that have stayed around while the others called it quits.

The ones that seem so big, that they scare you a little.

You’re never too old for those ones.

Instead of spending my days being envious of others who can do these things that I dream of, I’ve decided to just do it.

Regardless of time.

Negative thoughts.

Fear of rejection and the unknown.

I’m just going to do it.

I’ve wasted too much time sitting and admiring people who are accomplishing my goals.

Who are working hard and putting in the effort towards that one thing they want to do.

Who can just be free of the worries of their peers and what they might think.

They might laugh.

They might judge.

They might say your ideas are dumb.

But that’s their problem.

Not yours.

You have dreams to reach.

โค

 

 

 

 

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