Do something that scares you.

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They always say to do something that scares you.

To live outside of your comfort zone.

That you’ll be better for it.

Well I hate to break it to you, but it’s true.

You don’t need to do it all of the time.

You’ll be just fine if you spend most of your time your comfort zone.

That’s okay.

But if you want to grow, you need to get outside of it every once and a while.

Do something that makes you uncomfortable.

Do something that scares you.

If you know me well, you know that I hate flying.

My stomach turns as I’m approaching the airport.

I get nervous at any sign of turbulence.

There’s just so much that gets to me.

I hate it.

I’ve gotten better, but it still makes me nervous.

I put myself in a situation to fight this fear on Friday.

My best friend lives in Missouri, and I haven’t seen her in a year in a half.

I talk to her here and there but we haven’t gotten to spend time together in quite some time.

I found myself really missing her this last spring, and with some push from my husband, decided to fight one of my biggest fears to go and see her.

Flying by myself.

Just the thought of it made me so incredibly nervous.

We all have fears in life, and this is one of my biggest.

I looked for the only nonstop flights that were available, and booked my tickets as fast as I could.

For the fear of doubting my decision.

I put if off in my mind.

I let the excitement of seeing my best friend outweigh the thought of flying by myself for the first time in my life.

The more I didn’t think about it, the faster the day approached.

I packed my suitcase and tried to leave behind every worry I had.

Saying goodbye to my husband and son was hard, I tried to fight back tears as they left.

I felt a certain sense of accomplishment as I made it through the security line, it meant I had moved one step closer.

I sat in silence waiting for our plane to board.

The fact that we boarded 20 minutes late didn’t help my nerves, but meeting a nice family in line to board did.

I snagged the first window seat I could find and was joined by two super nice people.

There were only a few minutes between sitting down and the plane taking off, that seemed to help.

The woman who sat down next to me could tell that I was nervous, she kept asking me questions and talking to me as we took off.

Her genuine kindness made me forget about what I was afraid of.

Once I popped in my headphones and turned on 13 going on 30, I kind of forgot about everything.

It was such a smooth flight.

I looked out the window as often as I could, in awe of what I was doing.

I couldn’t believe that I was up in the air, by myself, doing the one thing that scares me the most.

The smooth flight was almost a sign.

A sign that I didn’t need to worry.

After a little more than three hours, we landed in St. Louis Missouri.

I was over 2000 miles from home.

I walked out of the terminal with so much pride in myself.

And I was reminded of why I did it when I saw my best friends car approach me outside of the airport.

I got to have such a fantastic weekend with my best friend in a brand new state.

I touched the St. Louis Arch.

I went a baseball game and crossed a 5th stadium off my list.

Most importantly, I got to take a peek into her world.

See where she has called home for two and a half years.

It was one of the best trips and I’m so incredibly thankful that I went.

That’s what happens when you step outside of your comfort zone.

You get rewarded.

You learn a little more about yourself.

Cross items off of your bucket list.

Make memories.

And face your fears.

You won’t overcome your fears unless you do those things that scare you.

I was so happy when our plane landed in Portland yesterday.

I’d be lying if I said that it was a good flight.

It sucked honestly.

But it didn’t matter.

I had done it.

I had done the one thing that scared me the most.

I flew across the country by myself.

And had such an amazing time.

So remember.

When they tell you to do the things that scare you.

Do them.

You won’t regret it.

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Envious.

We’re all guilty of being envious, whether we realize it or not.

You could see someones brand new car and wish that you weren’t stuck with your Toyota corolla from the 90’s.

A girl could walk by with these brand new designer shoes and you wish that you could afford shoes like that.

You could even be envious of someones well behaved child while yours throws a fit in Target.

It’s not something that you should be ashamed of.

We all do it.

Sometimes without even realizing it.

I was having a conversation with one of my athletes a couple of weeks ago.

For some reason we were talking about my brother and I brought up his tattoos.

That he just thinks of a funny idea and gets it.

I told him that I envied how he could just do that.

Not obsess and overthink, but just decide that he wants to do something and do it.

He  responded with “You say that a lot, that you envy him. You always say I envy how he can just do things, why don’t you just do it.”

He had an excellent point.

I do that.

Way more than I realize.

My little brother is a wonderful example of just doing things because he wants to.

Getting tattoos.

Going to Hawaii to visit his friend.

Wearing whatever clothes he wants because he thinks they’re cool.

He literally does whatever he wants and doesn’t care what anyone else thinks.

I know what you’re thinking.

Megan that’s easy.

Just decide that you want to do something and go do it.

But if you’ve been reading my blog for a little while then you know that’s something I just can’t do.

I can’t make a decision quickly.

I can’t think about weekend plans without obsessing over every little detail.

I can’t even make major life decisions without consulting with someone else.

That’s just how I am.

I’m wired to think about every little detail of every decision.

I don’t hate it.

But it’s not my favorite thing about myself.

Sometimes I like planning things out.

I like having complete control of what happens when and how it happens.

But on that same note, when I don’t have control I go crazy inside.

Think of Joyce Byers in season one of stranger things.

Okay, not that crazy but you get the idea.

Believe it or not, I’ve been trying to practice the art of letting things go.

I’ve tried to practice the art of stopping and breathing before I start to obsess over something.

Does it work all the time?

No.

But it works sometimes.

Being aware of a bad habit of mine, and making a conscious effort to fix it.

I think it’s important to look at ourselves and the things we know we could work on.

What’s one thing you do, that you wish you wouldn’t?

One thing you wish you could start doing?

Or one thing you wish you could do better or quit doing all together.

I think as humans we want other people to think that we’re perfect in every aspect of our lives, or at least what others see.

We don’t want anyone to think that we have a bad habit or trait.

We want them to think that we have perfect tempers, always tell the truth, or that we’re always easy going.

That our life is 100 percent put together all the time.

When we all know that’s not the case.

Instead of really reflecting on ourselves and what we can do better, we just pretend to have it all together for the sake of other people.

I think I’m too worried about looking like the control freak that I am, that I just keep it all bundled up instead of trying to fix it.

It makes me envious of others who can just do things.

Who don’t have to think before they do even the smallest of things.

And instead of fixing these things, I just spend my days envious of people who can do as they please.

We all do this.

Spend time being envious versus actually fixing the problem.

Whether you think you do or not, you probably do.

Instead of taking that risk, we sit and watch others accomplish our goals.

When I was younger, for the most part, I would have told you that I could make even my wildest dreams come true.

The President of the United states..

A reporter..

Public Relations manager for the LA Dodgers..

A Lawyer..

You name it, I wanted to do it.

It’s funny actually..

The older I got the more I doubted myself.

I still have dreams, they’ve just downsized a bit.

But I still have those big ones.

The ones that have stayed around while the others called it quits.

The ones that seem so big, that they scare you a little.

You’re never too old for those ones.

Instead of spending my days being envious of others who can do these things that I dream of, I’ve decided to just do it.

Regardless of time.

Negative thoughts.

Fear of rejection and the unknown.

I’m just going to do it.

I’ve wasted too much time sitting and admiring people who are accomplishing my goals.

Who are working hard and putting in the effort towards that one thing they want to do.

Who can just be free of the worries of their peers and what they might think.

They might laugh.

They might judge.

They might say your ideas are dumb.

But that’s their problem.

Not yours.

You have dreams to reach.

 

 

 

 

50 thoughts I have while driving.

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I have this weird relationship with driving.

At first, I hated it.

I was so excited to learn how to drive.

This was it..my road to freedom.

Or so I thought.

I passed the actual driving test on the very first try.

But failed the computer test the first time.

And second.

And third.

And fourth.

And fifth.

After the fifth they make you wait a certain amount of time before you take it again.

What can I say….I hate taking tests.

During that fun little waiting period in between test, Janelle and I got into a car accident.

It completely ruined driving for me.

So I swore it off completely.

My sister had her license, so why did I need mine?

Fast forward to the day I turned eighteen.

At that age our DMV allows you to just walk in and get your license if you’ve passed the driving test but not the computer test.

I finally had my license.

But refused to drive still.

It was a slow process, driving again.

I didn’t really start driving again until the summer of 2010.

Until I hit a parked car and swore it off again.

I think I started really driving after college.

I had a different job than my sister and basically had to drive.

It wasn’t even until this last September that I drove myself to a new city.

Don’t take this the wrong way.

I am a fine driver.

I just had a strained relationship with it.

I love it now though, for the most part.

We just got off to a rocky start.

Our relationship is like an old married couple.

We fight, and bicker all the time.

But at the end of the day we love each other.

I decided to document our daily commute together to give you all a glimpse into our relationship.

I hope it’s something you can relate to on a spiritual level.

50 thoughts I have while driving.

  1. Why are you so cold?? Seriously let’s turn that heat UP!
  2. Okay okay calm down it doesn’t need to be that hot.
  3. Ughhh nothings on this station this morning.
  4. Or this one..
  5. Or this one..
  6. I give up! I’ll settle with commercials.
  7. Now the real question is, do I want coffee?
  8. I mean I’m tired….and it sounds delicious.
  9. COFFEE IT IS!!
  10. Oh god why is the music so loud?
  11. It’s 6:15 in morning calm it down folks.
  12. Oh god stop yelling….just give me my coffee.
  13. Thank you…now let me leave.
  14. Mmmmm nectar of the gods.
  15. This light…you’ll be the death of me.
  16. If only I could turn left on this red.
  17. But something about the “law” makes it illegal.
  18. Rules rules.
  19. FINALLY.
  20. No no no don’t use your turning signal it’s fine.
  21. Oh I see you’re waiting until the middle of your turn to use your turning signal…makes sense.
  22. I swear I always hit so many red lights.
  23. Oooo I like this song.
  24. Can they see me dancing? No..perfect!!
  25. Woah my straw works as a microphone…BOOM!!
  26. Oh green light…whoops!
  27. Pay attention Megan.
  28. What is the speed limit? 35?
  29. WHY ARE WE GOING 25??
  30. Oh that’s right the speed limit is a suggestion..I forgot..silly me!!
  31. Please turn please turn please turn.
  32. YESSSS!! BE GONE PEASANT!!
  33. (Insert self made car acceleration noises.)
  34. HERE I GO AGAIN ON MY OWNNNNNN.
  35. GOING DOWN THE ONLY ROAD I’VE EVER KNOWNNNN.
  36. Cop.
  37. Cop cop cop.
  38. Was I going that fast?
  39. I couldn’t have been.
  40. I’ll just slowly take my foot off of the gas.
  41. Oh he’s gone…
  42. PHEW!!
  43. Good thing I’m almost to work.
  44. Stay green stay green..
  45. Woohoo made it!!
  46. Just gotta use my turning signal like the good little driver that I am.
  47. Almost there.
  48. Speed bump.
  49. Always forget about the speed bumps.
  50. Anddd were here…Thanks little buddy..be back soon!

That time I started to believe in myself.

Let’s go back to 2008 shall we?

I was 18 and about to compete in my 3000 meter run at the district track meet.

Ya see..I was fast.

My freshman year in high school I was one of the fastest freshman in our district, not to mention one of the fastest overall for distance running in my town.

Sophomore year I surprised myself.

I got second at our district meet in the 3000 when I came in ranked in the bottom half of the top ten.

I got to go to the state track meet as a sophomore which was a big deal.

Junior year I was awful.

I’m just going to say it.

I went from running an 11:02 in the 3000 to an 11:37 the very next year, from 2nd place to 7th at the district meet in one years time.

I wasn’t myself.

I spent most of my time with someone who told me I wasn’t that good.

That my sister was better than me.

That track was a waste of time.

That I wasn’t going to go to college for it so why try.

I started to believe all of those things.

I made excuses.

I gave up.

I didn’t believe in myself.

But lets not dwell too much on that, that person isn’t worth any more words on this post.

It wasn’t until the summer of 2007 when I got rid of that person in my life and decided to get myself back.

I looked forward to every single practice.

I was motivated to be better.

I had a hard cross country season in the fall but arguably my best throughout my four years.

I worked my butt off to get back to where I was at the end of my sophomore year.

Back to when I was excited.

Eager.

Fierce.

I wanted nothing more than to find this girl and get her back.

To show her that she was the fire she needed to spark this desire to be better.

That winter was full of training, and so was the spring,  leading up to my last season of running for my high school.

I felt like I wanted it more than anyone.

That I had something to prove.

To show girls who laughed at me the previous year that I was back and better than ever.

Every 3000 meter race I had run that season was faster than any 3000 I ran the year before.

I would sit on the bus on the way to meets and close my eyes.

Picturing the exact moment where I threw my hands up in success after my win.

I could see the headlines, Everetts wins district title.

That’s how bad I wanted it.

I loved getting pumped up before meets, that’s when I discovered my love for rap music.

Lil’ Wayne to be exact.

I would completely zone out and lose myself in the music.

Never show it on the outside.

It became a ritual I would end up using the rest of my racing career.

I would look at myself in the mirror and repeat out loud, it’s mine, I can do it.

I had so much confidence as we neared the end of that track season, until the day finally came.

The day I dreamed about.

The district meet.

I was coming into the meet ranked third I believe, maybe second in the 3000.

My event.

There were three of us who were competing for that title, the rest of the pack was about 15-20 seconds behind us.

I remember shaking when I was putting on my bib number.

Not because I was nervous.

But because I wanted it.

So bad.

I stood on the starting line, my foot twitching like it always did.

I was ready to go.

Then the gun went off.

I ended up getting out to a quick start with one of the girls, we left the other one, and that was the last we saw of her.

We ran the first two laps of the seven and a half lap race toe to toe, and I had no intentions of letting her go.

It wasn’t until the 5th lap when we passed the crowd.

I knew there wasn’t much of the race left and one of us had to make a move.

I whispered to her, let’s do this, and we were off.

We were running faster than I ever thought possible.

Next thing I know it’s the final lap and I have the lead.

I can hear my family cheering.

My mom.

My dad.

My sister.

Everyone was screaming as loud as they could.

I was on the last 100 meter stretch.

I could hear my friends in the stands cheering.

I pushed myself as hard as I possibly could.

And in that moment I had it.

I threw my hands up over my head in complete disbelief.

It was mine.

That moment that I had dreamed of was mine.

I ran over to my sister and gave her the biggest hug imaginable.

I ran a 10:48 and won the district title, I was off to the state meet for a second time.

10:48 was almost a whole minute faster than the year before, and quite the improvement from seventh place.

I’ll never forget how happy I was in that moment.

What I had been working for all season, all four years of high school, was here.

It’s so crazy to me how you can manifest something so much that it becomes attainable.

That if you want something so badly, along with some hard work, you can achieve it.

That’s what I did that year.

I wanted it.

More than anything.

I thought about it.

Dreamed about it.

Pictured it.

That moment was all I thought about and it was mine.

That day I decided to believe in myself changed everything.

It allowed me to see my full potential.

To see that I was worth it.

That I could literally do anything that I wanted to do.

I can honestly say that was the moment.

The moment that I realized what I could do.

The moment I truly started to believe in myself.

 

 

 

 

 

 

I suck at watching movies

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Hi I’m Megan and I suck at watching movies.

There I’ve said it.

Phew..

I feel like a huge weight has been lifted off of my shoulders.

Seriously though.

I suck at watching movies.

I’ve seen a good amount of movies in my lifetime, but not a lot.

My family would always watch movies together when I was growing up and when I was in middle school I would go out with my friends and see whatever movie was popular at the time.

But I never saw those movies.

You know those movies.

The ones that leave you tearing up in your seat.

The ones you have nightmares about.

The ones that leave you with the feeling to watch it over and over again.

I just haven’t seen them.

In all honesty I’ve seen a bunch of movies, I just felt like I was missing out.

I would have much rather watched television shows on Netflix then movies any day.

It just didn’t sound like fun to me at the time.

I saw the idea a month or so ago on Facebook.

Someone was going to watch a movie a week for 52 weeks, the length of one full year.

It sounded like a challenge.

I let the idea sit with me for a few days.

What movies would I maybe want to watch?

What movies I might not reach for right away, but people have suggested to me before?

I also wanted to do some research.

I found “movies you must watch before you’re 30″ lists on Pinterest and googled some of the great movies of the last few decades.

I really wanted to make this diverse.

I wanted as many genres as I could.

I even asked the people in my life what movies were important to them.

Jason was eager to jump on board and help me get some ideas.

My mom and dad gave me so many movie titles that I might make another list.

And my brother criticized some of my choices as he does, but he gave me some great ideas as well. Movies I would have never thought of watching.

This list might not seem perfect, but it’s not meant to be.

It wont be a list full of the movies that defined our generation, or the movies that won the most Oscars. These are movies that I felt were important to watch.

Movies that I wanted to watch, and movies that my family suggested.

Every weekend I’m going to stay up a little late and watch a movie that I’ll choose at random.

So far I’ve watched three movies.

At the end of every month I might even write a little piece reviewing the movies I watched for that month.

Who knows.

This is my project and my rules.

I’ll figure it out as it goes.

52 Movies for 52 Weeks.

Big Hero 6
A League of Their Own
Girls Just Wanna Have Fun
Animal House
Parenthood
The Big Lebowski
The Replacements
Fight Club
Footloose
Good Will Hunting
Dead Poets Society
Apollo 13
In Bruges
The Graduate
Flashdance
Pulp Fiction
The Departed
Inglorious Bastards
Top Gun
E.T
Now and Then
Time Travelers Wife
The Usual Suspects
One Flew Over the Cuckoos Nest
Steal Magnolias
Manhattan
Rent
Newsies
The Producers
Officer and a Gentleman
The Holiday
When Harry Met Sally
Breakfast at Tiffanys
Moulon Rouge
Pretty Woman
Notting Hill
Ghost
Silver Linings Playbook
Father of the Brude
Sleepless in Seattle
You’ve Got Mail
Say Anything
The Princess Bride
About a Boy
Close Encounters of the Third Kind
Inception
Guardians of the Galaxy
A Few Good Men
Silence of the Lambs
The Italian Job
The Shining
Shawshank Redemption.

I challenge you to watch a new movie.

Open yourself up to the experience.