Envious.

We’re all guilty of being envious, whether we realize it or not.

You could see someones brand new car and wish that you weren’t stuck with your Toyota corolla from the 90’s.

A girl could walk by with these brand new designer shoes and you wish that you could afford shoes like that.

You could even be envious of someones well behaved child while yours throws a fit in Target.

It’s not something that you should be ashamed of.

We all do it.

Sometimes without even realizing it.

I was having a conversation with one of my athletes a couple of weeks ago.

For some reason we were talking about my brother and I brought up his tattoos.

That he just thinks of a funny idea and gets it.

I told him that I envied how he could just do that.

Not obsess and overthink, but just decide that he wants to do something and do it.

He  responded with “You say that a lot, that you envy him. You always say I envy how he can just do things, why don’t you just do it.”

He had an excellent point.

I do that.

Way more than I realize.

My little brother is a wonderful example of just doing things because he wants to.

Getting tattoos.

Going to Hawaii to visit his friend.

Wearing whatever clothes he wants because he thinks they’re cool.

He literally does whatever he wants and doesn’t care what anyone else thinks.

I know what you’re thinking.

Megan that’s easy.

Just decide that you want to do something and go do it.

But if you’ve been reading my blog for a little while then you know that’s something I just can’t do.

I can’t make a decision quickly.

I can’t think about weekend plans without obsessing over every little detail.

I can’t even make major life decisions without consulting with someone else.

That’s just how I am.

I’m wired to think about every little detail of every decision.

I don’t hate it.

But it’s not my favorite thing about myself.

Sometimes I like planning things out.

I like having complete control of what happens when and how it happens.

But on that same note, when I don’t have control I go crazy inside.

Think of Joyce Byers in season one of stranger things.

Okay, not that crazy but you get the idea.

Believe it or not, I’ve been trying to practice the art of letting things go.

I’ve tried to practice the art of stopping and breathing before I start to obsess over something.

Does it work all the time?

No.

But it works sometimes.

Being aware of a bad habit of mine, and making a conscious effort to fix it.

I think it’s important to look at ourselves and the things we know we could work on.

What’s one thing you do, that you wish you wouldn’t?

One thing you wish you could start doing?

Or one thing you wish you could do better or quit doing all together.

I think as humans we want other people to think that we’re perfect in every aspect of our lives, or at least what others see.

We don’t want anyone to think that we have a bad habit or trait.

We want them to think that we have perfect tempers, always tell the truth, or that we’re always easy going.

That our life is 100 percent put together all the time.

When we all know that’s not the case.

Instead of really reflecting on ourselves and what we can do better, we just pretend to have it all together for the sake of other people.

I think I’m too worried about looking like the control freak that I am, that I just keep it all bundled up instead of trying to fix it.

It makes me envious of others who can just do things.

Who don’t have to think before they do even the smallest of things.

And instead of fixing these things, I just spend my days envious of people who can do as they please.

We all do this.

Spend time being envious versus actually fixing the problem.

Whether you think you do or not, you probably do.

Instead of taking that risk, we sit and watch others accomplish our goals.

When I was younger, for the most part, I would have told you that I could make even my wildest dreams come true.

The President of the United states..

A reporter..

Public Relations manager for the LA Dodgers..

A Lawyer..

You name it, I wanted to do it.

It’s funny actually..

The older I got the more I doubted myself.

I still have dreams, they’ve just downsized a bit.

But I still have those big ones.

The ones that have stayed around while the others called it quits.

The ones that seem so big, that they scare you a little.

You’re never too old for those ones.

Instead of spending my days being envious of others who can do these things that I dream of, I’ve decided to just do it.

Regardless of time.

Negative thoughts.

Fear of rejection and the unknown.

I’m just going to do it.

I’ve wasted too much time sitting and admiring people who are accomplishing my goals.

Who are working hard and putting in the effort towards that one thing they want to do.

Who can just be free of the worries of their peers and what they might think.

They might laugh.

They might judge.

They might say your ideas are dumb.

But that’s their problem.

Not yours.

You have dreams to reach.

 

 

 

 

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That time I started to believe in myself.

Let’s go back to 2008 shall we?

I was 18 and about to compete in my 3000 meter run at the district track meet.

Ya see..I was fast.

My freshman year in high school I was one of the fastest freshman in our district, not to mention one of the fastest overall for distance running in my town.

Sophomore year I surprised myself.

I got second at our district meet in the 3000 when I came in ranked in the bottom half of the top ten.

I got to go to the state track meet as a sophomore which was a big deal.

Junior year I was awful.

I’m just going to say it.

I went from running an 11:02 in the 3000 to an 11:37 the very next year, from 2nd place to 7th at the district meet in one years time.

I wasn’t myself.

I spent most of my time with someone who told me I wasn’t that good.

That my sister was better than me.

That track was a waste of time.

That I wasn’t going to go to college for it so why try.

I started to believe all of those things.

I made excuses.

I gave up.

I didn’t believe in myself.

But lets not dwell too much on that, that person isn’t worth any more words on this post.

It wasn’t until the summer of 2007 when I got rid of that person in my life and decided to get myself back.

I looked forward to every single practice.

I was motivated to be better.

I had a hard cross country season in the fall but arguably my best throughout my four years.

I worked my butt off to get back to where I was at the end of my sophomore year.

Back to when I was excited.

Eager.

Fierce.

I wanted nothing more than to find this girl and get her back.

To show her that she was the fire she needed to spark this desire to be better.

That winter was full of training, and so was the spring,  leading up to my last season of running for my high school.

I felt like I wanted it more than anyone.

That I had something to prove.

To show girls who laughed at me the previous year that I was back and better than ever.

Every 3000 meter race I had run that season was faster than any 3000 I ran the year before.

I would sit on the bus on the way to meets and close my eyes.

Picturing the exact moment where I threw my hands up in success after my win.

I could see the headlines, Everetts wins district title.

That’s how bad I wanted it.

I loved getting pumped up before meets, that’s when I discovered my love for rap music.

Lil’ Wayne to be exact.

I would completely zone out and lose myself in the music.

Never show it on the outside.

It became a ritual I would end up using the rest of my racing career.

I would look at myself in the mirror and repeat out loud, it’s mine, I can do it.

I had so much confidence as we neared the end of that track season, until the day finally came.

The day I dreamed about.

The district meet.

I was coming into the meet ranked third I believe, maybe second in the 3000.

My event.

There were three of us who were competing for that title, the rest of the pack was about 15-20 seconds behind us.

I remember shaking when I was putting on my bib number.

Not because I was nervous.

But because I wanted it.

So bad.

I stood on the starting line, my foot twitching like it always did.

I was ready to go.

Then the gun went off.

I ended up getting out to a quick start with one of the girls, we left the other one, and that was the last we saw of her.

We ran the first two laps of the seven and a half lap race toe to toe, and I had no intentions of letting her go.

It wasn’t until the 5th lap when we passed the crowd.

I knew there wasn’t much of the race left and one of us had to make a move.

I whispered to her, let’s do this, and we were off.

We were running faster than I ever thought possible.

Next thing I know it’s the final lap and I have the lead.

I can hear my family cheering.

My mom.

My dad.

My sister.

Everyone was screaming as loud as they could.

I was on the last 100 meter stretch.

I could hear my friends in the stands cheering.

I pushed myself as hard as I possibly could.

And in that moment I had it.

I threw my hands up over my head in complete disbelief.

It was mine.

That moment that I had dreamed of was mine.

I ran over to my sister and gave her the biggest hug imaginable.

I ran a 10:48 and won the district title, I was off to the state meet for a second time.

10:48 was almost a whole minute faster than the year before, and quite the improvement from seventh place.

I’ll never forget how happy I was in that moment.

What I had been working for all season, all four years of high school, was here.

It’s so crazy to me how you can manifest something so much that it becomes attainable.

That if you want something so badly, along with some hard work, you can achieve it.

That’s what I did that year.

I wanted it.

More than anything.

I thought about it.

Dreamed about it.

Pictured it.

That moment was all I thought about and it was mine.

That day I decided to believe in myself changed everything.

It allowed me to see my full potential.

To see that I was worth it.

That I could literally do anything that I wanted to do.

I can honestly say that was the moment.

The moment that I realized what I could do.

The moment I truly started to believe in myself.

 

 

 

 

 

 

10 things for people to remember in their late twenties.

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I’m quickly approaching it.

My 30’s.

It’s so close but at times still feels so far away.

I can’t believe that in two years I’ll put my twenties behind me.

My college years.

Young adulthood.

Falling in love.

Becoming a mom.

This shit moves fast people.

Life is crazy that ways.

One day you’re counting down the days till you’re 21.

The next you’re complaining about that weird noise your bones make when you walk down the stairs.

The older you get in your twenties the more you wonder.

Am I doing this right?

And if not, why isn’t there some sort of rule book for this?

As someone who has almost two years left of being a twenty something..

(Cue heavy breathing and panicking)

I feel like I have a place to share with the world my experiences.

The things that I find so important to remember as you approach the later end of your twenties.

So here you have it folks,

10 things for people to remember in their late twenties.

  1. It’s ok to not have anything to do on a Friday night. You’re not a complete loser if you aren’t out at a club every Friday and Saturday night. The importance of your life doesn’t matter on how many shots you can take at a club or how many random phone numbers you can get. Going out is fine and all, but don’t bring yourself down by comparing your social calendars to those of whoever you follow on Instagram.
  2. Eat that doughnut. I should start by saying don’t eat all of the donuts, don’t go crazy or anything, but you don’t always have to turn them down.I always hear people saying “I shouldn’t” when getting offered sweets, but why shouldn’t you? Yes, don’t have a doughnut every day but if it’s Friday and you’ve had a long week, take that frickin doughnut. Live a little. You have the rest of your life to deprive yourself of donuts.
  3. Enjoy your birthday. Growing up I remember people telling me to enjoy my 21st birthday, because after that they start going downhill. But they don’t have to. You’re the judge of how you treat your birthday. Remember when you were growing up and you were so excited for your birthday almost as much as Christmas. All you wanted was the attention, balloons, presents, and cake. Your birthday was your day. Why does it have to stop. Approach each birthday with as much joy and excitement as you did when you were growing up, instead of another year older. Everyone enjoys to be happy on their birthday.
  4. Make time for your friends. This is probably the one I wish someone would have told me about. I met my best friends in college, and I thought that it would be easy, keeping in touch with them. There’s Facebook and all of that, so of course it’d be easy. But I was so incredibly wrong. You have to initiate it. You have to make the plans and schedule regular time to see them. You get busy in your late twenties, with family, work, and catching up on sleep, it’s easy to forget to talk to your friend for a day or two. Don’t let them slip away, make that time.
  5. Get rid of those negative people. If you don’t like someone, you don’t have to act as if you do. If they’ve done nothing but tear you down, take them out of your life. Look around and see if anyone in your life makes you feel like a lesser version of yourself. If they do, guess what? They don’t deserve you.
  6. Find something you love to do. For me, it’s this blog. Writing gives me something that is solely mine. This space, my words, the stories I tell, they’re mine. I started this blog at a time in my life when I knew I wanted something that was just for me. Something that I could use to express myself and fill my time. Something that I looked forward to doing. Find something that sets your soul on fire and run with it, and never look back.
  7. Like what you like. I was so worried of what people in college thought of me. I would listen to the “cool” music on my ipod in the library in hopes that someone would hear it. I wanted to be liked by everyone so badly that I would just take interest in what everyone else did. It wasn’t until second semester of my senior year when I took my creative writing class, because I wanted to, that I realized you can literally like whatever you want. If you want to take a writing class and no one else you know takes it, then do it. If you love Drake but also Van Morrison, who cares? Like whatever you want, it makes you who you are.
  8. Let yourself fall in love. Unless you met the love of your life when you were in High School, there’s a good chance you’re going to fall in love in your twenties. Let yourself do it. Don’t worry about their age or what they do for a living. Don’t worry about how you met or that none of your friends know them. Let yourself fall, completely without a safety net. Don’t hold back in anything you do, especially love. You might get hurt, and that’s ok, it’s part of the process.
  9. You might not have your dream job right away. You know that job you dreamed of when you were growing up? That job you always wanted or worked your butt off for in college? Just know, that it might not come right away. If it does, congratulations, I envy you. But if you’re like the rest of us, you won’t find your perfect job straight out of college. Sometimes it takes a few times to get it right. It might not be the job that you thought you would be doing growing up. If it’s that job that you don’t dread going to every day, that job that gives you so much purpose and you can fully say you’re happy with, that’s ok. Don’t stress about it too much early on, it’ll happen.
  10. Yon don’t have to be who they want you to be. This one is the most important. There’s this stigma about being a twenty something, especially if you’re in your late twenties. Everywhere you look you see different images of what your life should be like at that age, don’t let that decide who you are. If you’re a married mother of one, awesome. If you live with your cat and your longest relationship is with your How I Met Your Mother binge session that’s ok too. You don’t have to be who they want you to be, you don’t have to have it all figured out. I thought growing up that at this age you were supposed to know everything and have life figured out. I think my life is pretty great, but I don’t by any means have everything figured out. This is your time to find it, to find who you’re going to be.

Your twenties are your time.

Your time to discover who you are.

Your time to make mistakes, friends, and memories.

Your time to not know what in the world you’re doing and knowing that that’s ok.

That you don’t have to have it all figured out.

If you spend your Friday nights writing for your blog discovering a new love for Bruce Springsteen that’s perfectly ok.

In the end were all going through different things and learning lessons for ourselves.

You make the rules for your late twenties are going to go.

No one else.

2018 Resolutions

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Here it is.

The last day of Blog to 2018.

20 days of writing straight.

It’s been fun, hard, and challenging.

It has forced me to write when I don’t like the topic or am not in the mood to write. Putting me outside of my comfort zone and telling me that I don’t need to be in the mood to write. That I don’t need to have something life changing happen to write. That I can write no matter what.

I’m so incredibly proud of myself.

It might not seem like a huge deal but it is to me, and that’s all that matters.

I owe myself a piece of cake.

I want to keep writing in 2018, keep improving my posts and growing my followers. 83 might not seem like a lot but it’s so awesome to me.

I’ve never made New Year resolutions before until last year. Actually taking the time to write them down and share them with others made me aware of them. They were always there in my mind, giving me something to work for.

I loved it so much that I decided to do it again for 2018.

I aspire to tackle these goals like I did in 2017.

  1. Run another half marathon. This one makes me nervous, running 13.1 miles when the most I’ve run since having Ian is six. I love running and I want to continue it in 2018. Setting this goal of running another half marathon again will keep me to training and give me something to train for. I just keep reminding myself, you’ve done a marathon Megan, you can do another half.
  2. Take a road trip. This goal doesn’t need to be anything crazy, it could be a trip to a new town a couple of hours away. I just want to go load up the car, put on some good music, and drive. When Jason and I drove up to Seattle for the Mariners game we really got to enjoy each others company. We talked about anything and everything, listened to an episode of my favorite fantasy football podcast, and talked about my new Game of Thrones obsession. Taking a road trip means I get to go somewhere with my family and make a new memory, I’m totally down.
  3. Watch 52 movies. Yes I know, 52 seems oddly specific, but I have a reason. I, Megan, have never seen The Princess Bride or Fight Club. I actually haven’t seen a lot of movies. If you can think of a movie that everyone should watch at some point in their life chances are I’ve never seen it. I got the idea to watch a new movie every week for the year, hence 52 movies. I started to work on creating a list and asked my husband, parents, and brother. People that I knew would give me lots of suggestions. I now have a list of 52 movies and am so excited to get to watch them I think I’m just going to start. No need to limit myself to one a week. Once I finish, I’ll keep going and keep opening myself up to new movies. Don’t worry, there will be a blog post once I’m done.
  4. Work on my patience. I suck at being patient. I honestly don’t have any and I’m completely aware of it. I know I won’t end 2018 living a new life full of patience, but if I can make it better in the slightest I’ll be happy. I just want to be able to handle situations better than I have in the past.
  5. Learn something new. This resolution isn’t specific for a reason, because I don’t know what that something new is yet, but I know I want to learn it. Not necessarily in its fullest but I want to at least start. I could learn a new language, learn how to swim, or driving a stick shift. Anything that I don’t already know how to do is up for grabs.
  6. Daily gratitude. Quite possibly the easiest goal of mine to try and attain. I want to start or finish every day with one thing I’m grateful for. I want to sit for a minute and reflect on the things that make me happy, the things that I’m grateful for. I believe that the smallest task can make a huge difference and put things in perspective or help when I’m having a bad day.
  7. Save money. This goal speaks for itself. There are things Jason and I want to do to our house and trips we want to take one day, having a solid savings is something that will definitely help that. Besides that, I feel as an almost 28 year old that saving money is something I should do. I’m not saying that I want to have this huge savings account and be able to spend it on a crazy trip, but I want to be better about spending and have a substantial savings account.
  8. Be Spontaneous. I am not a spontaneous person, at all. Seriously. I like to have everything planned out. It makes me happy having things planned out and going according to plan. I would just love to be spontaneous one day, say to do something, and just do it. Not to have everything planned out to the last second like I usually do, but to just do it. To let go and just do something because I want to. It might sound crazy to people who are normally spontaneous but I aspire to be that way, even in the slightest.
  9. Start to write a book. It’s one of my life goals to write a book. I have two ideas that have been in my head for a few years and I always go back and fourth between them. I know writing a book is a huge project, that’s why I want to start this year. I want to publish it before I’m 30. It’s crazy saying it out loud, I’ve kept it in my head for so long and on my private Pinterest board without telling anyone. And now I’ve told anyone who reads this. I really don’t care if a million people read it or not. It’s a huge goal of mine and I hope to start it this year.
  10. Don’t be so hard on myself. I’m always so hard on myself, mainly because I’m a perfectionist. If I want to accomplish my resolutions, I know there will be speed bumps along the way. And if I want to make it over those speed bumps, I need to not be so hard on myself. If I make a mistake, learn from it, don’t dwell on it all day. Giving myself some freedom to make mistakes and not be mad at myself for it, can really open up so many doors.

I really did love 2017, and 2016, and 2015. I know that 2018 will follow the trend, because I want it to. If you have a little bit of will power and some determination you really can accomplish those goals or resolutions, and can really change your mindset. I hope 2018 brings us all new experiences, joy, a Dodgers world series trophy, and a Taylor Swift concert. Well..I know I’ll be at the Taylor Swift concert..not sure about you..

Five years ago.

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How have you changed from the person you were five years ago?

Five years ago.

December of 2012.

I was 22 about to turn 23.

And about to start one of the most important years of my life.

2012 was the year that I graduated college and was an adult in the “real world.”

I had no idea what 2013 was about to have in store.

My relationship was going to fall apart.

I was going to feel the lowest I ever had.

I was going to run a marathon.

Start my first big kid job.

Start to really love myself.

Fall in love with my future husband.

Start coaching.

If only I would have known that in December of 2012.

I was happy.

I had the best family and the best sister.

Janelle and I were as close as we had ever been and my relationship with my family was great.

I just wasn’t that happy.

I was too busy trying to please others and be who they wanted me to be.

I was too busy faking that I was exactly where I wanted to be.

Too busy trying to make someone who was never happy with me happy.

That I didn’t stop to enjoy the wonderful people that actually wanted me happy.

I wish I could have told myself.

Hey you, yeah you’re just fine the way you are.

Stop and enjoy those around you and enjoy this time of year. 

It’ll be one of the last years you get to wake up at home on christmas morning.

Stop worrying about the happiness of those who don’t matter and worry about yourself.

I’ve changed so much from that person five years ago.

Besides the obvious details like being a mom and wife.

I really started to appreciate myself.

Back then I could have told you five things I disliked about myself faster than the things that I loved about myself.

I was too busy wishing I had more than realizing what I had.

I was too busy settling for anything.

Instead of fighting for everything.

Looking back I’m mad at myself.

I wish I would’ve had just a little more fire in my life.

A little more fight and passion.

Instead of living for others and going through the motions.

I was about to embark on one of my favorite years and the next five years were going to be completely life changing and wonderful.

If you would have told me at 22 that at this very time five years later, that I would be married to be my best friend who treats me like the world.

With the cutest son and nephew.

That I’d be coaching the best group of kids.

And working a job that I love.

That I could wake up in the morning, look at myself in the mirror and think..

I truly love myself.

I would have laughed.

Because I would have thought, that can’t happen to me.

I can’t be that happy.

And that was how my mind worked.

I didn’t expect much for myself.

I spent so much time with someone who just didn’t care.

When you surround yourself with people who just don’t care, neither will you.

I was trying to find a picture for this post so I went digging through the folders on my computer.

I found an album from when my family went to get our Christmas tree.

I looked genuinely happy, and I was.

I was so happy when I got to spend time with my family.

The ones who really pushed me to be better.

It always felt like they wanted to spend time with me, because they did.

That when I was with them, I could be myself and never had to try hard to make them want to be with me.

I wish I could tell myself back then, to just get rid of the negative people in your life.

To surround yourself with the ones who want to have their time taken up by you.

I’ve changed so much from the person I was five years ago, in many different ways.

The most important though, I can confidently say that I really do love myself.

Bears.Beats.Battlestar Galactica.

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Reflect on your first love, who were they? Why did you fall in love with them?

We always remember our first love.

Sometimes they’re bad.

Sometimes they’re good.

And since I tend to talk about my bad past relationships I’m going to take it down another road today.

I first fell in love when I was 18.

We were going to go to the same college so we started talking before hand.

He was funny, different, and unlike any boy in high school.

He didn’t try to be anyone that he wasn’t.

Which was so refreshing.

I remember being so excited about the new Taylor Swift CD when it released one morning at school, but I didn’t have a car and we were in Portland.

He woke up early to go get it for me, and didn’t care when I listened to it on repeat all day.

One time I really wanted dutch bros but he had class, and the nearest location was 70 blocks away. He let Janelle and I take his car, which he probably shouldn’t have, because we drove the entire way there without knowing the emergency break was on.

He also had the worlds best family. They welcomed me in and were the nicest people ever.

Most of the memories that I have with him I can look back and laugh at.

When we were together we were always laughing.

Which concerned me.

I think we might have only had one big fight, it was eight years ago so my memory is a little fuzzy.

We were more like best friends.

He spoiled me, and I loved that, but I got to the point where I wanted someone to tell me no.

I wanted someone to not have the same opinion as me. Someone to tell me that I was being stupid if I was indeed being stupid.

I wanted something more.

Everything was so easy.

And I wanted it to be hard.

Does that make sense?

I was only twenty and I felt like I needed more before I wanted to settle down with someone.

My family loved him too, which is fine, my families opinion is the most important, but that made it much harder.

I just remember talking to my parents about it. I remember telling them how I felt, and that he had become more like a best friend, and that it wasn’t what I wanted at that time.

We were together a little more than a year and a half before I broke up with him.

And it was one of the hardest things I had to do.

Have you ever had to break up with someone and not wanted to at the same time?

You know it’s what you want to do but also know that you’re letting go of your best friend.

That you’ll hurt them.

And you’ll be alone.

That’s what it felt like.

I knew that I wanted to and needed to, I was just so afraid of the heartache it was going to cause us both.

It wasn’t easy, but it needed to be done.

And looking back, I’m obviously happy I did and I know he is too.

We weren’t perfect for each other but he was a great friend.

And were still friends.

He’s met my husband, they’re friends and they like each other.

I’ve met his girlfriend a few times and I like her as well.

My family still talks to him too.

I texted him yesterday to ask him if I could do this by asking..

“question”

and he responded with..

“which bear is best.”

Because he introduced me to the office and we binge watched 6 seasons together and that quote is arguably the best quote from the entire series.

That’s who he is.

Super forgiving.

And I’ll forever be grateful that he forgave me for hurting him.

That he gave me another chance to be his friend because I really valued his friendship.

That he showed me what I wanted out of a relationship.

That I wanted it to be work, that I wanted it to not be entirely perfect. I wanted someone to be okay with my Taylor Swift obsession but tell me if they don’t like her latest single.

That it was okay to have different views, to listen to each others opinions, have different ones, and maybe learn something.

But most importantly he taught me that when I found the right person, he had to be able to make me laugh.

That if you can laugh with the person you’re with then it will all be fine.

I cheated.

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Share your inner most secret. Something you’ve never told anyone before.

I cheated.

I know I know.

It’s awful to cheat.

It was so hard for me to think of a secret that I’ve never told anyone.

Because I tell at least my sister everything.

Well clearly not everything.

I was ten and in the fourth grade.

I sucked at Math (and still do) and we had to take our fifth grade math placement test.

I sat by this super smart girl and cheated off of her test. I just stared right at her paper and copied her answers.

Don’t worry karma got me, I was placed in a math class higher than I should have been in and struggled.

PHEW.

That felt great to get off my chest.

Wait..

Did you think I cheated on someone by the title?

You must not know me that well.

I saw this list last Monday and have been thinking about a big secret that I’ve never told anyone.

This was the first and only one that came to mind.

First off, I don’t keep secrets.

Not because of some moral reason.

I just can’t keep them.

As I said above I always go running to Janelle.

I’ve kept a few secrets in my life, but only long enough to wait until the person finds out themselves because I can’t keep them in.

Second, I’m not really a rebel.

I don’t do things that I want to hide from anyone.

A few weeks ago I remember telling someone that my way of rebelling is going five miles over the speed limit.

Seriously.

I can see my sister laughing right now reading this because it’s true about both of us.

We follow the rules.

We didn’t really do anything terrible growing up.

And we always asked permission before going out or doing things.

We just prefer to follow the rules.

Some people get a sense of thrill from rebelling or doing something there not supposed to.

I really do love following rules.

It’s just who I am.

The fact that this is my biggest secret that I’ve never told anyone should tell you right there.

I’m the person that always says please and thank you.

Holds the door open for people.

Thinks rules were made to be followed.

Gets a weird joy out of cleaning.

And rebels by going five miles over the speed limit.

Not that anything’s wrong with people who do whatever they want or live these awesome carefree lives.

My brother is one of those people, and I envy him.

I love how he can just have this idea and act on it.

I physically can’t do that.

I would love to but I can’t.

It’s so funny how siblings can be similar but completely different.

But it’s true.

Janelle and I follow the rules and my brother makes his own.

And that’s fine.

It’s why my biggest life secret is that I cheated on a test in 4th grade.

And I’m perfectly ok with that.

I’m who I am.

Hi my names Megan and my biggest life secret is that I cheated on my math test in fourth grade.

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