I’m feeling 2022

If you read that title as 20-22 to the tune of 22 by Taylor Swift, congrats, you win.

You don’t actually win something, sorry, I just love a good Taylor Swift pun.

Almost as much as I love setting resolutions in the new year.

Do I always stick to these resolutions, not always. There’s just something about a new start and new goals to get the year started on the right foot.

Setting goals does not have to be something done specifically in the new year, but if the new year is the thing you need to get started on something you’ve always wanted to do, then so be it.

Personally, I love the idea of having a clean start to something, and new years is the perfect time to start something new.

In the last couple of years I also started setting a word for the year.

In 2019 I set my word of the year as “pursue” which helped remind me to pursue my dream of writing a book. It reminded me in those moments of where I had no motivation to push on towards pursuing my dreams. Honestly, 2019 was my favorite year in recent memory.

This year I set my word as “present” to really focus on being present with my family as we grew closer to growing our family, and to really be present in the first six months of his life.

This year was hard, I go back and forth on how I actually feel about it.

If I had to be honest, the first six months sucked.

I spent more time during those six months crying than I did in any other year of my life.

My family spent the first few months working with our sweet dog Marlo to help her through her health struggles. We payed extra close attention to her and her needs. I spent many nights cuddled up next to her while she was sleeping whispering things to her. Begging her to stay until the new baby came, to telling her that we were ok, that I didn’t want her to struggle anymore and if she needed to go it was ok.

She told us it was time to go on March 1st.

A week later I was met with a pretty hard situation that took up the next three months.

This situation was met with anxiety, depression, anger, hurt, regret, and negativity.

I saw so many things in my life take a hit. I found myself shutting down because it was easier than facing any sort of emotion.

June became a month of hope.

June provided me with rest, sunshine, family time, and my sweet baby boy Maxwell.

Maxwell was exactly what my family needed, he was exactly what I needed.

It was hard at first.

One day after he was born we found out that he had some pretty bad Jaundice, which had him in a little tank for 24 hours.

We also found out that my kidney levels were pretty bad, I spent the day after he was born getting 30 different tubes of blood drawn, CT scan’s, ultrasounds, and every bit of worst case scenario you could imagine.

We ended up leaving the hospital after four days.

I told the hospital that I had to get back to my oldest son and that I would continue my tests at home.

Life with two kids was hard at first, but honestly it’s been the biggest blessing I could ever imagine.

Maxwell is sweet, strong, curious, talkative, and loving.

He is the best thing that came out of this year hands down.

The rest of the year went by so incredibly fast, maybe that’s what having a baby does.

I really found my confidence after having Max.

I began working out again and finding my strength.

I discovered a style that made me confident.

I worked through hard situations with grace and strength and came out better.

I think that’s the most important thing we can do at the end of every year.

Look back on the previous year, truly recognize what went wrong, what went right, and what we could have done better.

We also need to praise ourself when it’s due.

Recognize when we grew.

Recognize that what we went through might have been hard, but that we worked so hard to get through it.

Meet the end of the year praising ourselves.

Give thanks for the version of us that entered the year and the version that meets us in our reflection at the end of it.

Looking at the new year, I find myself hopeful.

I find myself clear on my goals and what I want from the new year.

And that is to just be.

Be present, be powerful, be kind, be patient, be aware, be confident.

Just to be the best version of myself.

It may seem weird, but it came to me in the shower the other night.

My word for this year is “be” with the idea that I have no desired path for this year other than to just be whatever it brings.

This word made me more mindful of my resolutions for this year as well.

Resolutions that were manageable and reasonable, so that I could still be whatever version of myself that this year required.

I want to read more, specifically one book every month.

The first seven of those books being the Harry Potter series.

I have always wished that I had read these books growing up and constantly find myself saying “this will be the year I start reading them.” I figured why not start it now. The other five months will consist of whatever books I decide to read.

I want to journal.

I have always hoped that I could be the person who journaled, but never made the time to do so. I will be adding it into my daily routine so that I can reflect back on my thoughts and feelings after they pass.

I want to keep blogging.

I have already stated this in my previous post, but stating it again will help remind me of the desire I have to continue to blog throughout the year. Blogging is therapeutic to me. It helps me process my thoughts. I have also met some awesome people through it and have had people reach out to me after reading a post relating to the words I’ve typed.

I want to continue to be healthy and fit.

While the specifics of this goal remain private, because this is my own personal journey, I want to continue to workout and meet that with better eating habits. I have fallen in love with my peloton strength classes, bike classes, and treadmill classes. These workouts give me confidence and strength while also being fun. Fun is the most important part honestly.

Those are it, those are the four goals I have set for this year.

While four may not seem like a lot, they are four goals that I can focus on.

Why overload myself with too many goals, when I can find four that I want to stick with.

I’m really looking forward to 2022.

I am looking forward to hopefully returning to more of a normal life.

To Maxwell turning 1 and Ian starting kindergarten.

To finishing off the school year at a job where I finally feel like I belong.

To new beginnings and adventures with Jason.

To making memories with my family.

I picked this title because I truly am feeling the new year.

It’s the first time in a while that I truly do feel hopeful and optomistic.

I hope this year brings you happiness.

I hope that if you find yourself in a tough situation, that you can come out stronger.

I hope that you meet your resolutions with stride, and that you find purpose in something.

And I hope Taylor Swift gives us Speak Now and 1989 Taylor’s version.

Cheers to 2022.

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