I haven’t written anything in two and a half weeks.
Not sure if anyone noticed.
But I did.
It drove me insane.
It’s all I could think about.
I would sit in front of my computer and just stare.
I didn’t have a single idea that fit my prompts for the day.
No throwback stories seemed important enough.
I couldn’t think of anything fun or interesting for my Saturday fun day post.
And by that point Sunday just felt like I was forcing it.
At the beginning of the year these prompts were exciting. I would jump to my notebook and write an idea out as it came to me.
It was fun.
Then it got boring.
It turned into something I thought I had to do versus something I wanted to do.
I wasn’t looking forward to writing anymore.
And that was so upsetting for me.
This is my little corner.
A space to fill with the words that flood my mind daily.
I felt like I had lost it for a little there.
Do you ever feel like that?
Like you lost your spark?
Nothings wrong in your life.
You’re happy, loved, and enjoying the days as they come.
But that little spark of magic that was yours took a small vacation and was showing no signs of coming back.
That was me.
I lost my magic.
It’s kind of funny.
Calling my writing magic.
But that’s what it is to me.
Your magic is that thing that you do so well.
It’s that thing that ignites a fire in you.
It gives you joy on the darkest of days.
You could be the best at it, or the worst at it.
But it creates this magic in your life that you sometimes forget is there.
Well I lost mine.
I started worrying.
Was my stuff good enough?
Did people like it?
What was the purpose of my writing?
I started doubting every idea I had.
I just didn’t enjoy writing anymore.
But I love it.
I love writing and I don’t care if two people read it or two hundred people read it.
I love it so much.
It’s my escape.
The thing that ignites the fire inside of me.
It’s my magic.
I caught a few glimpses of it while on this little hiatus.
Thoughts that would come and go.
Ideas that sparked my interests and gave me ideas.
They didn’t fit my writing prompts for certain days but I didn’t care.
That was an idea to get me writing more often in the New Year.
It worked, and I enjoyed it while it lasted.
It served it’s purpose and I’m happy it did.
But I’m done with it now.
I’m ready to write as it comes to me.
Like I’ve done before.
Like I love doing.
I came across a sentence in a book that I’ve been reading.
“Do you have the courage to bring forth the treasures that are hidden within you?”
It was the reality check that I needed.
A slap in the face if you will.
I was afraid.
And I hate admitting it.
But I was afraid.
I had lost that confidence that I had gained from writing.
From sharing my words with anyone who would read them.
And the positive words from those readers.
For some reason I was doubting myself and the ideas in my head.
Doubting the magic that I knew I had.
I’ll be the first one to tell you if I’m being dumb.
And I was being dumb.
I had lost the courage to show my writing to the world.
Something that I loved so much.
Something that brought me so much joy.
Reading this line from the book really opened my eyes.
In order to find your magic, you need to have the courage to bring it to the world.
The thing that gives you life, you must give it life to have it blossom into the beauty that it can become.
Don’t let the fact that you’re scared stop you from finding your magic.
Or in the words of the movie A Cinderella Story.
Don’t let the fear of striking out, keep you from playing the game.
Whatever you love in life.
Whatever brings you so much joy that you want to show it to the world.
If you lost it, bring it back.
No matter what, don’t give up on it.
Trust that if it’s taking a break from you, it’s a needed break.
But don’t give up hope.
I lost my magic.
But it’s back.
What’s stopping you from finding yours?