If I could, I would give my younger self a lot of advice.
Advice that I knowingly wouldn’t want to hear.
You see…it may be hard to believe..but as a child I was very stubborn.
Shocker I know.
I would roll my eyes to almost anything my parents told me to do.
But they shouldn’t be mad, I did it to everyone who tried to tell me what to do.
I thought I knew all of life’s answers.
Especially when it came to boys.
Don’t date him Megan he’s a bad kid.
Maybe you should focus on school and not boys.
Megan he cheated on someone before, what makes you think he won’t do it again?
I had heard it all.
Ya see..I thought I had these magic powers.
That I could change someone.
If a guy was a jerk or hadn’t always been faithful in a relationship, I thought I was going to be that person to change him.
That wasn’t just something I did when I was younger, I did it up into my early twenties.
It isn’t the smartest thing to do.
To think that you can change someone.
You literally have no control over what they choose to do.
That was just a small part of my problem growing up.
From middle school to my first year out of college, I was consumed with this thought.
The thought that I needed to have a boyfriend.
I can sit here and blame it on Kate Hudson for days but that’s not the full reason and I know it.
I was fascinated with this idea of love.
I had seen my parents, grandparents, and couples on television completely in love and happy.
So that had to have meant that if you had love, you would be happy.
I wanted someone to love me like that.
Someone to sweep me off of my feet.
To show me affection the way couples in love did.
To quote a Mary-Kate and Ashley movie, “that can’t eat, can’t sleep, reach for the stars, over the fence, world series kind of stuff.”
That’s what I wanted.
And I was so consumed with this thought that only true love would make me happy that I didn’t even think of falling in love with the person I saw in the mirror every day.
Not in this conceded kind of way.
But the way where you truly appreciate yourself.
Where you love your flaws, your fears, and everything in between.
That’s the love I should have been focusing on.
Not the love of a stupid boy.
And boys are stupid.
I had a conversation with some girls that I coach yesterday.
My sister and I were hanging around them as they talked about cute boys.
I told them the one piece of advice I wish I would have listened to when I was younger.
Boys are stupid in high school.
And in College too.
Just focus on yourself and the good ones will come.
Now that’s not to say that you can’t marry your high school or college sweetheart.
That’s not at all what I’m saying.
But we’re all just trying to figure life out
We’re all still making mistakes and learning from them.
You can’t expect this big love from someone who doesn’t love themselves yet.
Dating is fine, it’s how we know what we like or dislike in someone that we want as a partner in life.
But being so fixated on finding love isn’t.
I wanted someone to love me so badly that I was looking for it in the wrong people.
Out of all of the boys I liked growing up, I only had one really good relationship.
And they taught me so much about what I wanted in a relationship.
We’re even still friends today.
That’s how I know it was good.
And I’m not necessarily blaming the boys I dated for our bad relationships.
They were all just still figuring life out.
The liars and the cheaters, well they still had a lot to figure out.
But why did I want so badly to find a love with someone who didn’t even know what he wanted.
I wanted love so badly I was blind to everything else.
I was spending hours and hours talking to boys who didn’t really care what I wanted to do after high school.
Giving my heart to boys who would just step on it days later.
Lying to the people I loved most just to protect the boy I was dating.
I did it all.
I was so dumb.
That’s not nice but whatever, when it came to boys I was dumb.
I had good grades, was an pretty good athlete, but could have been so much better if I wasn’t thinking about having a boyfriend so much.
That’s the one piece of advice I would give my younger self.
Out of everything in this world, it would be to not focus so much on having a boyfriend.
To just focus on yourself, and the right one will come to you.
Think about it.
If you have no idea what you want out of life, or even who you are, how do you expect to find this big love.
And if you don’t know who you are growing up, do you think everyone else does?
Chances are no.
No one knows who they are.
We’re all just figuring out life.
When we’re ready, when we finally seem to have this idea of who we are.
When we truly start to love ourselves.
That’s when we’ll find that kind of love.