Reflect on your first love, who were they? Why did you fall in love with them?
We always remember our first love.
Sometimes they’re bad.
Sometimes they’re good.
And since I tend to talk about my bad past relationships I’m going to take it down another road today.
I first fell in love when I was 18.
We were going to go to the same college so we started talking before hand.
He was funny, different, and unlike any boy in high school.
He didn’t try to be anyone that he wasn’t.
Which was so refreshing.
I remember being so excited about the new Taylor Swift CD when it released one morning at school, but I didn’t have a car and we were in Portland.
He woke up early to go get it for me, and didn’t care when I listened to it on repeat all day.
One time I really wanted dutch bros but he had class, and the nearest location was 70 blocks away. He let Janelle and I take his car, which he probably shouldn’t have, because we drove the entire way there without knowing the emergency break was on.
He also had the worlds best family. They welcomed me in and were the nicest people ever.
Most of the memories that I have with him I can look back and laugh at.
When we were together we were always laughing.
Which concerned me.
I think we might have only had one big fight, it was eight years ago so my memory is a little fuzzy.
We were more like best friends.
He spoiled me, and I loved that, but I got to the point where I wanted someone to tell me no.
I wanted someone to not have the same opinion as me. Someone to tell me that I was being stupid if I was indeed being stupid.
I wanted something more.
Everything was so easy.
And I wanted it to be hard.
Does that make sense?
I was only twenty and I felt like I needed more before I wanted to settle down with someone.
My family loved him too, which is fine, my families opinion is the most important, but that made it much harder.
I just remember talking to my parents about it. I remember telling them how I felt, and that he had become more like a best friend, and that it wasn’t what I wanted at that time.
We were together a little more than a year and a half before I broke up with him.
And it was one of the hardest things I had to do.
Have you ever had to break up with someone and not wanted to at the same time?
You know it’s what you want to do but also know that you’re letting go of your best friend.
That you’ll hurt them.
And you’ll be alone.
That’s what it felt like.
I knew that I wanted to and needed to, I was just so afraid of the heartache it was going to cause us both.
It wasn’t easy, but it needed to be done.
And looking back, I’m obviously happy I did and I know he is too.
We weren’t perfect for each other but he was a great friend.
And were still friends.
He’s met my husband, they’re friends and they like each other.
I’ve met his girlfriend a few times and I like her as well.
My family still talks to him too.
I texted him yesterday to ask him if I could do this by asking..
and he responded with..
“which bear is best.”
Because he introduced me to the office and we binge watched 6 seasons together and that quote is arguably the best quote from the entire series.
That’s who he is.
And I’ll forever be grateful that he forgave me for hurting him.
That he gave me another chance to be his friend because I really valued his friendship.
That he showed me what I wanted out of a relationship.
That I wanted it to be work, that I wanted it to not be entirely perfect. I wanted someone to be okay with my Taylor Swift obsession but tell me if they don’t like her latest single.
That it was okay to have different views, to listen to each others opinions, have different ones, and maybe learn something.
But most importantly he taught me that when I found the right person, he had to be able to make me laugh.
That if you can laugh with the person you’re with then it will all be fine.