A lesson learned.

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Reflect on one of the greatest life lessons you have ever learned?

A lot of the lessons that I’ve learned in life take me back to my younger days.

Don’t skip class by walking out of the front doors of the school.

Look out for crazy drivers on the road.

Study for your test.

I thought those were all just silly lessons you learn when you’re young and by the time you’re in college you would learn all of the serious lessons.

I had no idea that you would go through something at age twelve and again at seventeen..

And twenty..

And twenty three.

That it would keep happening until you finally realized what was going on.

You would realize what you were blind to all those years ago.

That you thought you knew what you were doing but you kept making the same mistakes over and over again until the answer was so obvious it hit you in the face like a brick.

Ok not literally, but the pain was probably similar.

You’re worth more.

I had this idea growing up that stayed with me until I was 23 that I had to find love.

That even though these people were clearly not fully invested in me like I was them, that I could change that.

I blame all of those romantic comedies I watched.

Even though I clearly wasn’t treated right, I was blind to it because I wanted so badly for that relationship to work.

And it didn’t.

They all kept falling apart and I was convinced that I was doing something wrong.

Was I too clingy?

Not clingy enough?

Not good enough?

Not pretty enough?

I just wanted my relationships to work and wasn’t paying attention to what was going on.

That I was worth more than all of those boys combined.

My parents tried to tell me growing up.

Boys are stupid..

And they weren’t wrong.

On one hand I wish I wouldn’t have wasted so much of my time with these people.

But on the other I’m grateful to have had these experiences because without them I wouldn’t have learned the lessons attached to them.

When I was twelve I liked this boy who later told my sister that he liked her more than me. Like a good sister, she ran and told me and I ended it after we confronted him.

But like..what the hell?

I was mad, but instantly thought something was wrong with me.

When I was seventeen I dated a guy who constantly told me I wasn’t good enough and should just quit the things in life that made me happy.

And I believed him.

When I was twenty I thought that I was dating the coolest guy ever. He was my rebound after a really good relationship that ended. Everyone loved him and I thought I was seriously the most amazing person for dating him.

Not that he was amazing for dating me.

But that I was amazing for dating him.

But after him avoiding my calls and text one weekend while he was visiting his ex-girlfriend, I soon realized that once a cheater always a cheater.

Yet I still thought I did something wrong, was I annoying and that’s why he cheated?

And when I thought I finally had it right, when I thought I was done with all of the losers and cheaters in the world, I found another.

I spent a year and a half with someone who felt that everything he wanted out of life was more important than anything I wanted.

That I wasn’t important enough to even compromise with.

I was so upset at first.

Thinking, maybe what I wanted was wrong.

It wasn’t until a while after, when I started loving myself more, that I realized I was worth more.

I deserved more.

I deserved someone who doesn’t compare me to other people.

Someone who is always faithful.

Someone who knows how to compromise when it comes to our different views.

No matter how many times they tell you different.

You’re worth more.

I came across this lesson again.

Someone who I love so much, finally realized that they were worth more than they were getting treated.

And now they’re shinning brighter than ever.

If you ever think there’s something wrong with you.

Look in the mirror.

Realize there’s not.

And start to surround yourself with people who also see nothing wrong with you.

You’ll be amazed at how happy you are and how fast things start to fall into place.

 

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