I did a thing.

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We all have wins.

Some big.

Some small.

Regardless they’re wins, and we celebrate them.

Last Monday I had a small win..but wow did it feel big.

For the first ever….

I drove to a different city.

Yes I know..laugh or judge all you want..but it was a huge win for me.

And if you know me at all you know that’s big.

Long story short, driving and me haven’t always gotten along.

I didn’t really start driving until I was 20. I drove occasionally but it took 20 years to start driving myself around like an adult.

Even when Janelle and I commuted 30 minutes every day to college, I never drove.

She did it all.

Even when I graduated from college and dated someone who lived in a different city, I never drove to go see him.

Call it selfish.

Call it stupid.

Call it stubborn.

But if I didn’t want to do it, I wasn’t going to,

Simple.

No one understood why.

I got teased, argued with, and made fun of.

People didn’t understand and people didn’t try to understand.

I didn’t want to drive.

Honestly, it scared me.

I couldn’t control other drivers and the unknown, and it scared me.

I’ve obviously been driving for the last seven years just fine.

I get slight road rage, and maybe I don’t always park inside the lines, but I’m a fine driver.

I’ve just never wanted to drive far away.

Something about it just scared me.

This is where we get to my win..

Last Monday rolled around, my mom’s birthday, and for some reason every flower shop online wouldn’t deliver on Monday’s..don’t ask me why..I don’t make the rules..but they wouldn’t.

I really wanted to bring her flowers to work.

So I decided to drive to Dallas.

It’s not that far, I might have gone the longest way possible, but it wasn’t that far.

But I did it.

I took an extended lunch break, bought some flowers, got a balloon, and drove to Dallas.

The sun was shinning bright and the sky a beautiful shade of blue.

I had my favorite radio station on, and I just drove.

I decided to go the back way, a road that always made me nervous, but would take me through my old college town.

A place I had never drove myself to.

It was the craziest thing.

I saw places from my past, but they were different this time.

I don’t think anyone could understand how truly blown away I was with myself.

I had done something that until that very moment, I was scared to do.

I drove to a different city.

All by myself.

At 27.

Think what you want, but it was my win.

Some wins are big.

Some wins are small.

But it was my win.

This was my moment.

I drove back feeling like I was on top of the world.

I remember those moments so vividly in life, where I felt on top of the world.

Think back to your win, big or small, when you felt like you were on top of the world. Wasn’t that feeling the absolute best? It made you feel like you could take on the world, climb a mountain, win a gold medal at the Olympics.

It sounds funny, comparing the fact that I drove myself to a different city to winning a gold medal at the Olympics, but it’s a win none the less, and it was my win.

I started thinking as I drove back, how something that seemed impossible, I had just done.

How even when the person I was dating wanted me to drive to a different city I wouldn’t do it.

I realized that I didn’t want to.

But when it came to bringing my mom flowers, something that I really wanted to do, I did what seemed impossible.

It’s funny what you can accomplish when you want to.

When the will to do something overpowers the fear you have to get it done.

It’s beautiful it really is.

I was so proud of my win and I’ll always be.

I’ll always remember it as the moment I decided not to let my worries hold me back. The moment when I decided I was stronger than what scared me.

All of that from driving myself to Dallas.

Big wins or small wins..a win is a win.

❀

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Megan’s Month: August 2017

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You didn’t think I would miss a month did you?

I am dedicated to this thing.

August came in like a lion, and left like a lion.

I started out the month celebrating my second wedding anniversary with my husband, and going on a beach trip with our cross country team.

The next week was followed by hosting a summer fun run with our team and another beach trip with friends.

We started official cross country practice a few days after that, and ended the month with two meets.

In between all of that you could find me with my face buried in my phone or my notebook studying for our fantasy football draft.

And just when it started to calm down, the month ended with my new obsession, my nephew Cameron was born and I could not be more in love with him.

I think I could use a day or so just to catch up on sleep lost during this month.

But I like it that way.

Chaos.

There’s something beautiful in the chaos of life and finding a way to deal with it all.

Finding a way to make it through even though some days you don’t know what day of the week it is.

Those days where your to-do list is too long to count and your coffee cup seems to be always running low.

Those are the days I secretly live for.

My husband will most likely read this and laugh, because if I gave him a dollar every time I complained about being too busy he would probably have 570 dollars.

That’s true, I do complain.

But I’m human.

We do these things.

Complain to help fill some sort of void until we feel better about the situation.

Even though I complain about being busy, I always make it through. Feeling as if I could change the world, so accomplished and proud of myself for fighting through the day.

I love chaos.

Even though chaos is hard to understand and can be intimidating, it forces us to think outside of the box. It forces us to dig down deep and use parts of ourselves we didn’t know we had.

That was not only the theme of this month, but the theme of this whole summer.

Chaos.

And it was beautiful.

I was always running around doing one thing or another.

Focusing on a task at hand while still tying up the loose ends on another.

And I wouldn’t have it any other way.

There were a few times where I felt my patience was being tested, or that the chaos would get the best of me.

Times where actions of others were trying to get me down.

And that’s when you learn to see the beauty in the middle of the chaos.

Remember that you have a whole team of people behind you, cheering you along.

People that have your back no matter what.

That in the middle of the chaos you know they’ll always be there.

Chaos forces us to use what we don’t always know we have, or that we forget we have.

It forces us to get creative.

To think outside of the box.

To do things because we have no other choice.

So much chaos.

And I loved every second of it.

Because of it, we’re a few hours away from the start of my favorite season.

When my tv is flooded with college football (go buckeyes).

When the leaves crunch under my feet, and when pumpkin spice latte fills my cup.

We’re hours away from the start of the best few months of the year, which also means more chaos..and I’m beyond ready.

Some other things I’ve loved this month..

Parenthood

Working out

Birthday Cake Halo Top Ice Cream

Taylor Swift’s new single

Game of Thrones..again!!

Planning my Halloween Costume because it’s never too early

Selfies with Ian

Starbucks fall blend coffee

Cameron

I’m ready for the next few months; birthdays, cross country meets, holidays, work, football, and fall activities. I’m ready for the chaos and finding the beauty in it all.

Bring it on.

Quote of the month:

“The thing about chaos, is that while it disturbs us, it too, forces our hearts to roar in a way we secretly find magnificent.”

-Christopher Poindexter

❀