It’s May 1st..
The perfectionist inside of me is going absolutely insane.
This blog is my own personal space for me to do whatever I want whenever I want, and I still hold it to the standards that I do everything else.
My goal with these monthly updates was to do them before the end of the month, that way people weren’t reading about April in May.
I know I know..Megan..no one besides you cares when you write these things..
Said my husband last night when I was trying to rush this out.
These are the standards and deadlines that I set for myself, and I go crazy when I can’t meet them. I have this fear that I’m letting my blog down.
It’s a blog..it doesn’t have feelings..it doesn’t care when I write or what I write on it.
It won’t get upset if I take two seconds and enjoy what’s happening around me.
That was my theme this month..
Enjoy things as they’re happening.
So much happened.
From track meets, to Ian, to work, everything happened and I felt like life flew by before I had the chance to stop and write it all down.
There were definitely times when I felt like I was letting one thing down to focus on the other, and forgetting about other things completely.
I am a perfectionist and a control freak.
If you didn’t know that about me..well now you do.
I like to have things done the way I want them done, and I want to know everything that’s going on..ever.
It’s weird but it’s me.
I wish it was easy for me to just let things go and not to stress out about five things at once, but it’s not.
I’m learning though.
I feel like every new month as a mom is the same. So many things are going on as well as raising a child, and it all seems a little overwhelming. Thinking about it right now, there have been times in my life where so many things were going on and I just needed to stop and enjoy it.
Senior year of high school and college were both so overwhelming. You’re preparing for the next years of your life while trying to finish the other and not go crazy.
The 6 months leading up to my wedding were both wonderful and stressful. I was so beyond happy to be marrying my best friend, but all of the details of the wedding were all I could think about.
I really wish looking back at it all that I could have stopped and enjoyed it all a little bit more, don’t get me wrong, I enjoyed all of the major parts of my life, but I was stressed during them too.
Honestly, because I’m a stress monkey.
That’s what I like to call myself.
I spend so much of my time worrying about what could happen and forget to look at everything that is happening.
I’ve been making an effort this month to try and slow down, to try and be patient and appreciate everything that’s around me as it’s happening.
I feel like I’ve been doing a good job but it still takes work.
I just love putting everything I have into everything I do.
It’s a blessing and a curse.
I love caring about what I do as much as I do, but not to the point where it drives me crazy.
There were just so many things going on this month and the next thing I know, it’s May.
I’m constantly reminded every day that I need to slow down and just breathe.
It’s hard for me but I’m trying as hard as I can.
That’s probably the most important thing, I’m trying.
This month was crazy busy, but there were so many wonderful things that happened.
Ian turned 6 months old.
I got a pre race note card.
The sun decided to show up.
Baseball season started.
I got my very first hurdle medal.
I went to the tulip festival for the first time in forever.
We had an awesome coaches 4×100 relay.
I found out my sister is having a baby boy.
My hurdlers had PR’s left and right.
So many wonderful things happened, big and small but wonderful none the less.
It was so easy for me to sit here and think of a few great things that happened, and overall this month really was fantastic.
There were definitely times when I didn’t realize how great it was though, because I was busy stressing about one thing or the other.
But I have to stop.
And I’ve realized that.
Why should you spend so much of your time worrying about things you can’t control.
That should be my motto.
It can be.
This month taught me so much, and it honestly was my favorite so far. The track season was in full force and we had some great meets and memories. I got to celebrate my little brothers 25th birthday with my family. My son started eating food. There are so many great little things in the midst of every day life. Just stop for two seconds to enjoy them.
Note to self: Stop and smell the roses.
Soundtrack to April 2017:
Quote of the month:
“Wherever you are, be all there.”-Jim Elliot.