I sit here staring at my computer screen just typing and deleting.
Typing and deleting.
I love this blog I have created. It is so special to me and I cherish it. It’s my little corner of the world where I can say exactly how I am feeling and get it out for others to see if they desire to do so. I guess you could say that over the last couple of months I have become very passionate about it. I put a lot of thought about what I want to write and how I want it to be absolutely perfect. Sometimes I will type half of a story and go and delete it because it doesn’t work.
Somethings not clicking, it doesn’t sound like it did in my head.
Sometimes I just stare.
I have all of these beautiful thoughts in my head and I can’t get them out on the screen the way I imagined it.
I am a perfectionist. Yeah, I am a big perfectionist and if I am going to do something I am going to give it 100 percent of pure awesomeness or it’s not worth it. If I am passionate about it, I’m going to make sure that I give it the love and hard work that it deserves to go out into the world and strive.
I am passionate about a few things in life; my family, my son, running, and writing.
Some things just come natural, like my family. I don’t even need to think twice before I tell you how much I love my family and how I would do anything for them. How if you do anything to hurt any one of them you better hope you don’t run into me. I might be small but I am mighty. My dad taught me that, he taught me that I can do anything I want. He taught me how to be confident and fierce and how to really appreciate the Dodgers and good BBQ. Every time I am stressed or nervous I put Whitney Houston’s “I wanna dance with somebody” on repeat and it works wonders on my spirit. My mom helps me remember how to laugh at myself and how to help others and fight for what I want but how to be amazingly kind about it.
My brother and sister are the best. Seriously. I could write 10,000 words on why my sister is. She has been by my side for almost 27 years minus those first 10 minutes where she was just chillin and I hadn’t made my debut yet. Janelle taught me how to be brave, how to be kind, how to love others, and she taught me to love coffee. I will be grateful for that one forever. My brother forgave me for being annoying when I was younger, which that alone deserves a gold star. He puts all of himself in everything he does and when he wants something he does whatever is needed to go and get it. I look up to him.
My husband is my better half. Seriously. He has patience when I don’t, he gives others the benefit of the doubt when I want to jump to conclusions. He encourages me to do things when I would rather sit there and hesitate. He helped me make an amazing little boy who’s curiosity amazes me. Who smiles at anything and who has so much strength. He’s strong, loving, and everything I have ever wanted.
I love running, I have been doing it since I was 12. More than half of my life has been spent running around in circles in the rain, sun, snow, and mud. Running has shaped me into the person I am today. Running was there when I was having a bad day and would listen to my problems, running would forgive me if I forgot to run the day before or if I didn’t do so well in a workout. Running helped me believe in myself and helped me realize I can do wonderful things, like run 26.2 miles or run a five minute mile, or run side by side with some amazing people. Running gave me the courage to do the impossible.
I have always enjoyed writing. I would write song lyrics when I was in middle school and I thought they were so cool. If I was feeling any sort of way I could always put it down on paper. However, I didn’t see the real beauty of it. To me, it was just something I had to do in school or something that would never lead to a high paying job or lots of money and success so why spend my time doing it? It wasn’t until college when I had to take a creative writing class that I realized how much I really enjoyed it. I could be creative and express anything I wanted to with a pen and paper..or in this case my finger tips and a computer keyboard..and tell others any message I wanted to. I think that’s why I love it so much, because I can tell someone anything I want. I can give advice, share memories, or tell stories and share my experiences with others. I can do so much with just my mind and a keyboard.
I am so passionate about all of these things. So incredibly passionate. I don’t think you get to pick your passions though, I think they come to you. You can’t pick your family, you’re born into it and in my case I got the best one there is. You can’t help who you fall in love with, sometimes they’re the same height as you and have the loudest and best laugh in the world, but you love them and they love you. I never chose running, it was suggested to me by my parents and I fell in love with it on day one, and writing just came to me. I don’t believe you can find your passion, I believe they come to you. Sometimes they are things, sometimes they are actions, and sometimes they are people. Sometimes they slap you in the face and sometimes they take a while to truly appreciate.
Your passions make you who you are.
They push you in the directions of your dreams and help you realize your true potential.
I hope your passion finds you, and when it does I hope you put everything into it.
Let your passions fuel your fire.