Fall foliage.

leaves

“Life starts all over again when it gets crisp in the fall” F. Scott Fitzgerald.

I always come back to this quote in the fall time, I love it. The first time I saw it floating around on Pinterest I thought to myself, “I love fall, and this quote is about fall so it’s perfect for this picture caption on Instagram.” Somehow it kept coming up, one way or another as the years passed. I would always think about it, wondering if there was more to it that I wasn’t really thinking about.

Every year things change. They come to an end so brand new things can begin. New adventures start creating new memories and we say goodbye to the old ones. I am reminded of this every day as I open Facebook and check the “on this day” section. Sometimes I find myself overwhelmed with emotion as I see a status about singing Taylor Swift at the top of my lungs with my sister as we drove to school, or about my Cross Country team traveling to apple ridge for the conference meet. Memories that, at the time you really don’t think about and appreciate for everything they are. Don’t get me wrong, I try to enjoy everything as it happens and appreciate the little things, but you really don’t realize how much you will miss something until it’s gone.

Just the other day I was thinking about my first college up in Portland. It was beautiful, especially in the fall. I was so incredibly nervous, I was an hour away from home, which for me was a huge deal because I was so close to my family. I remember so many little things like blowing up my espresso machine with my sister, and driving my boyfriends car 70 blocks with the emergency break on and not realizing it until I smelt smoke.I miss the 20 feet I had to walk from my dorm to the building where we had classes and how peaceful those twenty seconds were. I loved how small and close everything was. I miss that place, I have always wanted to go back just to look at what remains.

I especially miss my second college and that small town. Looking at that special track every day as I walked to class. Getting coffee from my favorite spot with just a splash of cream and peppermint to remind me of Christmas. I miss my best friend, I feel like I met her way too late in life. I learned lessons from her that definitely would have helped earlier.

That year after college, that was a hard one. Living at home which was away from all of my friends felt like the end of the world but it was definitely one of my favorite points in life. I was having the hardest time looking for a job, I had just got dumped, and I was really struggling. It was in that time that I started coaching, met my husband, got the job that I have had now for almost four years, and was best friends with my dad. Every morning we would walk my dog at the high school nearby and just talk. It was when I moved out that I realized how incredibly thankful I was that I had that time with him, I think those moments are why I feel so close to him now. That year definitely was my favorite, it was a year that had started out feeling like the end of the world. Yet, just like the fall, it ended and started something new. A new year, new memories and new adventures.

 Lately I have been reminiscing on old times and missing the small things that made memories that will last a lifetime. As the fall begins I look back at how every year things end so new things could begin. It really is a beautiful process. All of these memories I have are just that, memories, and this fall I am creating new ones. Five years from now as I drop my son off at kindergarten I guarantee you I will cry like the biggest baby ever in the car missing these days when he was curled up in a ball asleep on my chest. That process will never end, every year I will miss things as they come to an end, but be so grateful that I get to create new memories. I think that’s why I love the fall season so much, because it reminds me that no matter what ends in life, new things will always begin.

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